مرکزی صفحہ Diary Of A Wimpy Kid - The Deep End (Book 15)

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid - The Deep End (Book 15)

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سال:
2020
ناشر کتب:
Harry N. Abrams
زبان:
english
صفحات:
228
ISBN 13:
9781419748684
سیریز:
15
فائل:
PDF, 61.51 MB

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62 comments
 
DragonPulse5
Thanks for uploading this
28 October 2020 (16:55) 
DragonPulse5
Its a really good book
28 October 2020 (16:56) 
Amishi
thanks for uploading this book.
29 October 2020 (06:03) 
Uxify
This is amazing tysm
29 October 2020 (22:39) 
Aszurator
This is a really great book

TY
30 October 2020 (13:50) 
Rohith
Thanks for uploading this
30 October 2020 (15:52) 
Tanish Bermola
Thank you so much
book asia op
30 October 2020 (18:04) 
Yubi
thank you so much????????????
05 November 2020 (19:53) 
theNoobGamer
Thanks for uploading this book
06 November 2020 (02:34) 
GOOD BOY GONE BAD
wimpy kid series. this one is best
06 November 2020 (13:27) 
GOOD BOY GONE BAD
wimpy kid series. this one is best
06 November 2020 (13:27) 
Ombre Adidas Outfit
I hope this is a good book :>
08 November 2020 (06:24) 
Diary of a wimpy kid fan
I loved it thanks for uploading it was like the thing l never knew I needed.
10 November 2020 (05:58) 
adxlynn
Amazing. Simply Amazing.
11 November 2020 (03:59) 
Chef
The most amazing book for me
12 November 2020 (08:44) 
kingemmanuel
wow thank u guys so much for uploading this and every thing else
17 November 2020 (02:14) 
Mr. Anonymous[043]
BOY, THIS BOOK IS AMAZINGLY AWESOME

THE NEWEST VERSION! 2020(BTW CAN U SEE THE GLASSES IN PIC -> --[]-[]
18 November 2020 (21:38) 
BOO I HATE THESE BOOKS
P.U I HATE THESE BOOKS, ONE TIME I BOUGHT ONE OF THESE BOOKS, and THE BOOK WAS COVERED IN A STINKY SMELL-DOG pop<extra o goes in between p and o! I HATE BOOK SIR REEE THEY ARE TRASH I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEEPS AY ITS BAD ALL OF THEM
18 November 2020 (21:40) 
P.U I HATE THESE BOOKS, ONE TIME I BOUGHT ONE OF THESE BOOKS, and THE BOOK WAS COVERED IN A STINKY SMELL-DOG pop<extra o goes in between p and o! I HATE BOOK SIR REEE THEY ARE TRASH I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEEPS AY ITS BAD ALL OF THEM

P.U I HATE THESE BOOKS, ONE TIME I BOUGHT ONE OF THESE BOOKS, and THE BOOK WAS COVERED IN A STINKY SMELL-DOG pop<extra o goes in between p and o! I HATE BOOK SIR REEE THEY ARE TRASH I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEEPS AY ITS BAD ALL OF THEM
01 December 2020 (16:47) 
P.U I HATE THESE BOOKS, ONE TIME I BOUGHT ONE OF THESE BOOKS, and THE BOOK WAS COVERED IN A STINKY SMELL-DOG pop<extra o goes in between p and o! I HATE BOOK SIR REEE THEY ARE TRASH I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEEPS AY ITS BAD ALL OF THEM
P.U I HATE THESE BOOKS, ONE TIME I BOUGHT ONE OF THESE BOOKS, and THE BOOK WAS COVERED IN A STINKY SMELL-DOG pop<extra o goes in between p and o! I HATE BOOK SIR REEE THEY ARE TRASH I DONT CARE WHAT YOU PEEPS AY ITS BAD ALL OF THEM
01 December 2020 (16:47) 
ANOYNYMOUS
I dont like the readers choice and the ads and some books are way too bad and I love Jeff Kindey God bless you. PEACE OUT
03 December 2020 (15:44) 
Genny
I love diary of a wimpy kid series. These books make me laugh until my stomach hurts.☺
12 December 2020 (11:11) 
UwU
You r such a legend for uploading this
22 December 2020 (04:19) 
Sarah
People who have uploaded this in the library needs a big round of applause! Thank u so much for uploading this book. I have been searching online for it.
23 December 2020 (21:02) 
Sarah
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
23 December 2020 (21:03) 
Rahaf ❤❤❤
i want to read it but the words are simply not english
04 January 2021 (11:33) 
Unknown
I hate that you have to pay
11 January 2021 (23:36) 
bookworm 5
i have been looking for this book for months finally I found it cant wait to read it now
18 January 2021 (19:31) 
Goomba Lover
THIS IS AWESOME I LOVE THIS BOOK ESPECIALLY THE ENDING!
19 January 2021 (04:59) 
Rahaf ❤❤❤
i want to read the book but it is not english
19 January 2021 (10:18) 
Secret 비밀
I love it 너무 좋아요 굿 good

19 January 2021 (11:39) 
Hojin Lee
I am Secret 비밀 and I am a Korean person
19 January 2021 (11:41) 
Rayna
I love this book but how do you use it as an audio book
20 January 2021 (04:13) 
parker
thank you love the book soooooooooooooooooo much

21 January 2021 (06:47) 
TommyInnit
Great Book my sister loved it
24 January 2021 (05:20) 
Anonymous
Really good book. Easy download. Kept me interested right to the end. Thank You
26 January 2021 (14:26) 
xopjs
Nice book, love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
30 January 2021 (21:53) 
blah!blah!
Awesome book!!!!! one of the wimpy kid
31 January 2021 (21:22) 
Shadow
Thank You For The Book
09 February 2021 (08:45) 
Brandy Playz
l love this book man
25 February 2021 (11:37) 
Merit
'love all the books!
02 March 2021 (14:27) 
Samuel
One of the best ones for me in the series!
02 March 2021 (18:16) 
Unknown
U all suck what the fuck
27 March 2021 (21:39) 
.
Kids also read this book man so stop cussing
28 March 2021 (03:02) 
Idiot #1
When’s the next book come ing out, will there be a next book, a third thing to say.
28 March 2021 (03:03) 
Idiot #2
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes when
28 March 2021 (03:05) 
npkgamer235
Please upload Rowley Jefferson's Awesome Spooky Stories
29 March 2021 (15:47) 
MadCuber
if i am cool pls say i am cool
05 April 2021 (06:03) 
john k.
you are cool :)))))
very cool
05 April 2021 (06:04) 
MadCuber
i finihsed the book yaaaaaaay
05 April 2021 (06:47) 
Aisha Aziz
I think the next book comes out next year because every year there is a new book, so maybe in 2022? I just downloaded this book and reading the comments, y'all are saying it is good. Well, let's see.....
06 April 2021 (05:25) 
Spectrum#6683
What a awesome book.
13 April 2021 (06:39) 
Dr Smarty-pants
This is the best book ever! I hope a new one comes out
14 April 2021 (08:45) 
Percy Jackson
I have to admit this makes me laugh but my Diary of half blood adventures is the best
22 April 2021 (12:36) 
kichu
This book is really awesome and I love the wimpy kid series.......... I bought 12 books of them and then I started reading it in online
09 May 2021 (09:36) 
AG
I love this site which gives free book pdfs............. i love whoever made this site and uploads these bookss !!!!!
12 May 2021 (17:39) 
EJ
Hi! I've been dying to check out this book. I love that I can read it online without all the trouble of spending dollars or tryna find where it's even located! Thank you so much for this free pdf! This is my Go-to-website! Now, I can get my favorite books, without an issue! Thank you so much website creator (I don't really know who ya are)
12 May 2021 (22:04) 
Rebekah
tysm and God bless yaall
19 May 2021 (18:33) 
nathan wondwoosen
its verrrry nice,especially considering the pandemic,its hard
to get a book like this to be sold. z library thank u very much.
27 May 2021 (20:07) 
shaan
shaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
01 June 2021 (11:52) 
student
I hope there will be another book because this one ended with a cliffhanger.*


*sort of
08 June 2021 (17:45) 
KiriMina forever❤️
Amazing book! Was waiting for this book to come out for so long.
12 June 2021 (13:15) 

آپ کتاب کا معائنہ کر سکتے ہیں اور اپنے تجربات شیئر کرسکتے ہیں۔ دوسرے قارئین کتابوں کے بارے میں آپ کی رائے میں ہمیشہ دلچسپی رکھیں گے۔ چاہے آپ کو کتاب پسند ہے یا نہیں ، اگر آپ اپنے دیانتدار اور تفصیلی خیالات دیںگے تو لوگوں کو نئی کتابیں ملیںگی جو ان کے لئے صحیح ہیں۔
PUFFIN BOOKS
PUFFIN BOOKS

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID

2

THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID SERIES
1 Diar y of a Wimpy Kid
21
3
2
4
3
5
4

6 Cabin Fever

11 Double Down

THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID SERIES

Rodric k Rules
Diar y of a Wimpy Kid
The Last Straw
Rodric k Rules
Dog Days
The Last Straw
The Ugly Truth
Dog Days

5 The Ugly Truth

76
8
7
9
8
10
9

The Third Wheel
Cabin Fever
Hard Luck
The Third Wheel
The Long Haul
Hard Luck
Old School
The Long Haul

10 Old School

12
11
13
12
14
13
15
14

The Getaway
Double Down
The Meltdown
The Getaway
Wrecking Ball
The Meltdown
The Deep End
Wrecking Ball

15 The Deep End

MORE FROM THE WIMPY WORLD
The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book

MORE FROM THE WIMPY WORLD

The Wimpy Kid Movie Diar y
The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diar y: The Next Chapter
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diar y
Diar y of an Awesome Friendly Kid: Rowley Jefferson’s Journal
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diar y: The Next Chapter
Rowley Jeffer son’s Awesome Friendly Adventure
Diar y of an Awesome Friendly Kid: Rowley Jefferson’s Journal
Rowley Jeffer son’s Awesome Friendly Adventure

3

4

PUFFIN BOOKS
UK | USAPUFFIN
| Canada BOOKS
| Ireland | Australia
India | New Zealand | South Africa
UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
| New Zealand
South Africa
Puffin Books is part ofIndia
the Penguin
Random| House
group of companies whose
addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.
Puffin Books is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose
addresses can be found
at global.penguinrandomhouse.com
.
www.penguin.co.uk
www.puffin.co.uk
www.ladybird.co.uk
www.penguin.co.uk www.puffin.co.uk www.ladybird.co.uk

First published in the English language in the USA
by Amulet Books, an imprint of ABRAMS, 2020
First published
in the
language
theDeep
USAEnd
Original
English title:
DiarEnglish
y of a Wimpy
Kid:in
The
by Amulet
Books,
imprint by
of Harry
ABRAMS,
2020 Inc .)
(All rights
reserved
in all an
countries
N. Abrams,
y of
Wimpy by
Kid:Puffin
The Deep
End2020
Original
English title: ; Diar
Published
simultaneously
in Gr
eata Britain
Books
(All rights reserved in all countries by Harry N. Abrams, Inc .)
Published simultaneously in Great Britain by Puffin Books 2020
Wimpy Kid text and illustrations copyright © Wimpy Kid, Inc ., 2020
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID®, WIMPY KID™, and the Greg Heffley design™
Wimpyand
Kidthe
text
and illustrations
yrightar©
Wimpy Kid,and
Inc ., 2020
design
of the book’cop
s cover
e trademarks
DIARY OF Atrade
WIMPY
KID®,
WIMPYKid,
KID™,
and
the Greg
Heffley design™
dress
of Wimpy
Inc . All
rights
reserved.
and the design of the book’s cover are trademarks and
trade dressBook
of Wimpy
rights
designKid,
byInc
Jeff. All
Kinne
y reserved.
Cover design by Jeff Kinney and Marcie Lawrence
Book design by Jeff Kinney
Coverright
design
y Jeff
Kinney and Marhas
cie Lawrence
The moral
of bthe
author/illustrator
been asserted
The moral right of the author/illustrator has been asserted
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN:

978–0–241–39697–1

ISBN

: 978–0–241–39697–1

All correspondence to:
Puffin Books, Penguin Random House Children’s
All correspondence
to:London SW11 7BW
One Embassy Gardens,
8 Viaduct Gardens,
Puffin Books, Penguin Random House Children’s
One Embassy Gardens, 8 Viaduct Gardens, London SW11 7BW

5

tO RYAN
tO RYAN

6

7

AUGUST
Thursday
UGUS
I love my family andAall,
butTI don’t need to
spend
twenty-four hours a day with them, seven
Thursday
days
week.
Andand
that’s
CTL
Y the
I lovea my
family
all, EX
butAI
don’t
needway
to it’s
been
here lately.
spendaround
twenty-four
hours a day with them, seven
days a week. And that’s EX ACTLY the way it’s
It’s
not justhere
MElawho’s
been around
tely. getting tired of this,
either. We’re ALL going a little nuts, and if
ME who’s
things
don’t
soongetting
I thinktired
we’reofgonna
It’s not
justchange
this, go
off the We’re
deep ALL
end. going a little nuts, and if
either.
things don’t change soon I think we’re gonna go
off the deep end.

Mom says we’ve been cooped up for too long and
we just need a holiday. But what we really need
is a holiday
frombeen
eachcooped
OTHER
Mom
says we’ve
up .for too long and
we just need a holiday. But what we really need
1
is a holiday from each OTHER.
1

8

That’s not gonna happen anytime soon, though,
because we don’t have any MONEY. And the
reason
kind of anytime
a long story.
That’s we
notdon’t
gonnais happen
soon, though,
because we don’t have any MONEY. And the
reason we don’t is kind of a long story.

We’ve been living in Gramma’s basement for two
months, and I don’t know how much longer we
can keep
this. Mombasement
says thatforonetwo
We’ve
beengoing
livinglike
in Gramma’s
day we’ ll and
look Iback
on know
this time
months,
don’t
how and
muchsmile,
longerbutwe
she’skeep
not going
the one
hasMom
to share
a futon
can
likewho
this.
says that
one with
RODRICK
day
we’ ll lookevery
backnight.
on this time and smile, but
she’s not the one who has to share a futon with
2RODRICK every night.
2

9

The crazy thing is, Gramma’s got plenty of room
in her house, so I don’t understand why our
whole
familything
has to
in hergot
basement.
When
The crazy
is, stay
Gramma’s
plenty of
room
we her
firsthouse,
got here,
called
dibs on the
in
so I I
don’t
understand
whyguest
our
room, family
but Gramma
taken.
whole
has to said
stayitinwas
heralready
basement.
When
we first got here, I called dibs on the guest
room, but Gramma said it was already taken.

I don’t think Gramma’s too thrilled we’re living
with her, because whenever her friends come over
shedon’t
asks think
us to Gramma’s
stay out of
I
toosight.
thrilled we’re living
with her, because whenever her friends come over
she asks us to stay out of sight.

3
3

10

And that’s kind of inconvenient since there isn’t a
bathroom in the basement, and her friends always
stay F
OREVER
And
that’s
kind .of inconvenient since there isn’t a
bathroom in the basement, and her friends always
stay FOREVER.

We can’t use the kitchen when Gramma’s got
guests, which means we can’t eat dinner until after
they’re
Butkitchen
last night
guess Rodrick
We
can’tgone.
use the
whenIGramma’s
got got
sick of waiting,
so heweheated
up some
leftover
guests,
which means
can’t eat
dinner
until after
pizza in gone.
Gramma’s
they’re
But dryer.
last night I guess Rodrick got
sick of waiting, so he heated up some leftover
pizza in Gramma’s dryer.

4
4

11

There’s no TV in Gramma’s basement,
thing we’ve got to entertain ourselves
TV inbelieve
OTHERno
. And,
me, that’s
not
There’s
Gramma’s
basement,
thing we’ve got to entertain ourselves
OTHER. And, believe me, that’s not

so the only
with is each
enough.
so the only
with is each
enough.

Mom says being bored is good, because it makes
you use your imagination. But whenever I try it
I
always
imagining
the because
exact same
thing.
Mom
says end
beingupbored
is good,
it makes
you use your imagination. But whenever I try it
I always end up imagining the exact same thing.

5
5

12

Something that’s making the situation a lot
harder is that Dad is working from home this
summer, which
means
he’s the
always
around.a And
Something
that’s
making
situation
lot
whenever
of this
us have
harder
is Dad
that has
Dada ismeeting,
workingthe
fromrest
home
to pretend
we’re
not he’s
there.
summer,
which
means
always around. And
whenever Dad has a meeting, the rest of us have
But
that’s not
easy to do, especially when
to pretend
we’realways
not there.
you’ve got a three-year-old in the family.
But that’s not always easy to do, especially when
you’ve got a three-year-old in the family.

Most of the time I just try to keep myself
busy. Gramma’s got stacks of puzzles down in the
basement,
andtime
I’ve
a fewtoofkeep
themmyself
by myself.
Most
of the
I done
just try
But Mom
always got
lets stacks
Mannyofput
in thedown
last piece
busy.
Gramma’s
puzzles
in theto
make him feel
basement,
andimportant.
I’ve done a few of them by myself.
But Mom always lets Manny put in the last piece to
6
make him feel important.
6

13

If you ask me, I don’t think Mom’s doing Manny
any favours by BABYING him. And it’s got a lot
worse
at Mom’s
Gramma’s.
If yousince
ask we
me,started
I don’tliving
think
doing Manny
any favours by BABYING him. And it’s got a lot
Sometimes,
after
dinner,
ll play
a board game
worse since we
started
livingwe’at
Gramma’s.
as a family. But Manny can’t handle complicated
rules, so weafter
alwaysdinner,
end upwe’
playing
Sometimes,
ll play aa game
boardthat
game
doesn’t
require
SKILL
. handle complicated
as
a family.
Butany
Manny
can’t
rules, so we always end up playing a game that
doesn’t require any SKILL.

7
7

14

We have to go to bed before it’s even dark
outside, because we’re all on MANNY’ S schedule.
We have to go to bed before it’s even dark
outside, because we’re all on MANNY’ S schedule.

These days, Manny’s favourite bedtime story is a
Noah’s Ark picture book. It’s about this guy who
hears it’s
gonna
rain for
a reallybedtime
long time,
These
days,
Manny’s
favourite
storyso ishea
builds a Ark
giantpicture
boat to
rideIt’s
out the
a
Noah’s
book.
aboutstorm
this with
guy who
bunch it’s
of animals.
hears
gonna rain for a really long time, so he
builds a giant boat to ride out the storm with a
bunch of animals.

8
8

15

The illustrations in Manny’s book are all
and they make it look like a f lood that
half illustrations
the Earth was
kind of book
FUNare
. all
The
in Manny’s
and they make it look like a f lood that
half the Earth was kind of FUN.

cartoons,
wiped out
cartoons,
wiped out

But I guess if the drawings were more realistic,
parents wouldn’t buy it for their pre-schoolers.
But I guess if the drawings were more realistic,
parents wouldn’t buy it for their pre-schoolers.

9
9

16

I’ve got some questions about the Noah’s Ark
story, though. For starters, I wanna know why
Noahgot
let some
venomou
s creatures
I’ve
questions
about like
the snakes
Noah’s and
Ark
scorpi
on h.
board.
Because, ifIitwanna
was ME
, I why
stor
y,ontshoug
For starters,
know
would’ve
to leave
a few
Noah letused
venthe
omouopportunity
s creatures like
snakes
andof
those
guys
.
sc
orpion
s onBEHIND
board. Because,
if it was ME, I
would’ve used the opportunity to leave a few of
those guys BEHIND.

And then I would’ve used the extra space for
more of the GOOD animals, like puppies and
hedgehogs
andwould’ve
those pygmy
And then I
used thehippopotamuses.
extra space for
more of the GOOD animals, like puppies and
hedgehogs and those pygmy hippopotamuses.

10
10

17

Luckily, Noah didn’t have to make room on board
for whales and fish, because they would’ve taken up
a TON of
space.
Andhave
theytoprobably
didn’t
even
Luckily,
Noah
didn’t
make room
on board
know
the fand
loodfish,
was because
happening
begin with.
for whales
theytowould’ve
taken up
a TON of space. And they probably didn’t even
know the f lood was happening to begin with.

But it doesn’t make a lot of sense that Noah
let BIRDS on the ark, si nce they could’ve just
F
LOit
W doesn’t
N . Andmake
I bet
he of
regretted
thatNoah
decision
But
a lot
sense that
right
away. on the ark, si nce they could’ve just
let BIRDS
FLOW N . And I bet he regretted that decision
right away.

11
11

18

You only hear about the animals that SURVIVED
the f lood. But sometimes I wonder if there were
someonly
cool hear
animals
that
’ T that
make SUR
it onVIVED
to the
You
about
theDIDN
animals
boat.
the f lood. But sometimes I wonder if there were
some cool animals that DIDN’ T make it on to the
boat.

The way the story goes, after it rained for forty
days and forty nights, it took 150 days for the
f loodwater
go back
down.
That
means for
Noah
The
way thetostory
goes,
after
it rained
forty
was stuck
on thenights,
boat with
a bunch
animals,
days
and forty
it took
150 of
days
for the
his wifetoand
sons. That means Noah
fplus
loodwater
go three
back down.
was stuck on the boat with a bunch of animals,
And
whenever
I three
feel sorry
plus his
wife and
sons.for myself living in
Gramma’s basement with my family, I think about
Noah
and it makes
mesorry
feel afor
little
better.
And whenever
I feel
myself
living in
Gramma’s basement with my family, I think about
12
Noah and it makes me feel a little better.
12

19

Mom keeps saying she’s glad we’re all together
right now, because she feels like time has slowed
down.keeps
I’ve saying
noticedshe’s
that,glad
too,
but all
fortogether
ME it’s not
Mom
we’re
aright
GOOD
now,thing.
because she feels like time has slowed
down. I’ve noticed that, too, but for ME it’s not
a GOOD thing.

13
13

20

Something that’s making this summer feel really
long is that I can’t go to my friend Rowley’s
house. Andthat’s
that’smaking
becausethis
he’s summer
off on feel
somereally
big
Something
European
with
lo
ng is thatholiday
I can’t
go his
to family.
my friend Rowley’s
house. And that’s because he’s off on some big
When
Rowley
firstwith
toldhis
mefamily.
about his family’s
European
holiday
plans, I tried to see if his parents might let me
tag along.
Butfirst
I guess
Mr about
and Mrs
Jefferson
When
Rowley
told me
his family’s
aren’t
as see
I thought
they were,
plans, as
I sharp
tried to
if his parents
might because
let me
they
never But
picked
on Mr
anyand
of my
tag along.
I up
guess
Mrshints.
Jefferson
aren’t as sharp as I thought they were, because
they never picked up on any of my hints.

So now Rowley’s probably off having the time of
his life while I’m doing five-hundred-piece puzzles
in my
basement.
So
nowgrandmother’s
Rowley’s probably
off having the time of
his life while I’m doing five-hundred-piece puzzles
14
in my grandmother’s basement.
14

21

I think Mom feels bad we can’t afford to do
something special this summer, so she’s been trying
to think
make up
forfeels
it. bad we can’t afford to do
I
Mom
something special this summer, so she’s been trying
She
says up
we for
can it.
go anywhere we want if we just
to make
use our imaginations. But, to be honest, that’s
not really
it for
me anywemore.
She
says wedoing
can go
anywhere
want if we just
use our imaginations. But, to be honest, that’s
not really doing it for me any more.

I think Mom’s finally had enough, too, because last
night she called a “family meeting” after dinner to
brainstorm
ideasfinally
for holidays
that we
canbecause
afford.last
I
think Mom’s
had enough,
too,
But the
everyone’s
got their
N idea
night
sheproblem
called ais,“family
meeting”
afterOW
dinner
to
of
a good time.
brainstorm
ideas for holidays that we can afford.
But the problem is, everyone’s got their OWN idea
15
of a good time.
15

22

Dad wants to drive around and visit a bunch of
Civil War battlefields and take part in a
re-enactment.
about
Dad
wants to But
drivenobody
around else
andwas
visitcrazy
a bunch
of
putting
wool underwear
in the
middle
Civil
Waronbattlefields
and take
part
in aof August.
re-enactment. But nobody else was crazy about
putting on wool underwear in the middle of August.

Manny wants to go to the Animal Safari, which
we used to visit a lot when I was little. But the
animals wants
in thattoplace
always
seem soSafari,
SAD, especially
Manny
go to
the Animal
which
the
donkey
theya painted
a zebra.
we used
to visit
lot whentoIlook
waslike
little.
But the
animals in that place always seem so SAD, especially
the donkey they painted to look like a zebra.

16
16

23

Mom said we could save money by staying close to
home and visiting places in our own community. But
I’ve gone
on could
enough
to close
feel like
Mom
said we
saveschool
moneyfield
by trips
staying
to
I know
townplaces
inside inand
home
andthis
visiting
ourout.
own community. But
I’ve gone on enough school field trips to feel like
I know this town inside and out.

The only ones who could agree on what we should
do were me and Rodrick. We both voted to go to
the Thrills
andwho
Spills
amusement
would
The
only ones
could
agree onpark,
what which
we should
be CHEAP
Gramma We
got both
half-price
do
were me since
and Rodrick.
voted coupons
to go toin
the mail.
Thrills and Spills amusement park, which would
be CHEAP since Gramma got half-price coupons in
the mail.

17
17

24

Plus, they just opened a new roller coaster called
Trackjumper that’s supposed to be totally INSANE.
Plus, they just opened a new roller coaster called
Trackjumper that’s supposed to be totally INSANE.

Mom said the rides at Thrills and Spills are too
scary for Manny, so she suggested we go to
Storybook
Village,
has rides
for allare
ages.
Mom
said the
rides which
at Thrills
and Spills
too
But meforand
Rodrick
had enough
scary
Manny,
so have
she suggested
weofgoLittle
to
Miss Muffet’s
Mild which
Ride for
lifetime.
Storybook
Village,
hasone
rides
for all ages.
But me and Rodrick have had enough of Little
Miss Muffet’s Mild Ride for one lifetime.

18
18

25

Since my family couldn’t settle on anything, I
suggested we all go on our OWN holidays and do
aSince
slideshow
of everyone’s
trips on
when
we get back.
my family
couldn’t settle
anything,
I
suggested we all go on our OWN holidays and do
a slideshow of everyone’s trips when we get back.

Mom said the whole point of being on a family
holiday is to do things TOGETHER. She says
that
one day
kidspoint
are gonna
go on
ouraseparate
Mom said
the us
whole
of being
family
OGETHER
ways, and
time’s
runningTout
to make .happy
holiday
is to
do things
She says
memories
. gonna go our separate
that
one as
daya famil
us kids y
are
ways, and time’s running out to make happy
memories as a family.

But, believe me, for THIS family to make happy
memories together, it’s gonna take a MIRACLE.
But, believe me, for THIS family to make happy
memories together, it’s gonna take a MIRACLE.19
19

26

Monday
We finally figured out a way we could afford to go
on a family holiday this summer.
Monday
We finally figured out a way we could afford to go
On
night this
my great
on aSaturday
family holiday
summer.grandmother Gammie
called Dad and asked if he could get rid of Uncle
Gary’s
campernight
van, which
has grandmother
been parked in
her
On
Saturday
my great
Gammie
driveway
theasked
past iftwo
called
Dadforand
he years.
could get rid of Uncle
Gary’s camper van, which has been parked in her
driveway for the past two years.

Apparently, Uncle Gary ran off to work as a
rodeo clown, and she doesn’t think he’s coming
back
anytime Uncle
soon. Gary ran off to work as a
Apparently,
rodeo clown, and she doesn’t think he’s coming
At
Dad soon.
was MAD, because he’s always
backfirst
anytime
cleaning up Uncle Gary’s messes. But Mom said the
camper
waswas
theMAD
solution
to ourhe’s
holiday
At
firstvan
Dad
, because
alwaysproblems.
cleaning up Uncle Gary’s messes. But Mom said the
20
camper van was the solution to our holiday problems.
20

27

Mom said the reason holidays are so expensive
is because staying in hotels and eating at
restaurants
a lotholidays
of money.
said the
Mom
said thecost
reason
are She
so expensive
camper
vanstaying
would take
care and
of BO
TH those
is
because
in hotels
eating
at
things.
restaurants cost a lot of money. She said the
camper van would take care of BOTH those
Then
things.DAD started getting excited. He said we
could hit the open road and stop for the night
DADwestarted
whenever
FELT like
it, and
we could
cookwefor
Then
getting
excited.
He said
ourselves,
too.open road and stop for the night
could hit the
whenever we FELT like it, and we could cook for
ourselves, too.

All I know is me and my brothers were so happy
for the ch ance to g et out o f Gramma’s basement
thatIweknow
probably
uld’my
ve ag
reed to were
ANYTHING
All
is me wo
and
brothers
so happy.
for the ch ance to g et out o f Gramma’s basement
that we probably would’ve agreed to ANYTHING21.
21

28

Mom says we’ ll have a lot of adventures along the
way, and now I’ M getting kind of excited about
this
too.ll have a lot of adventures along the
Mom trip,
says we’
way, and now I’ M getting kind of excited about
this trip, too.

In fact, I’m actually starting to feel a little
bad for ROWLEY. Because, while he’s stuck in a
boring
museum
on the other
sidetooffeel
thea world,
In fact,
I’m actually
starting
little I’m
OfWLEY
gonnfaorbeRof
doing. something
really he’s
WILD
. k in a
bad
Because, while
stuc
boring museum on the other side of the world, I’m
gonna be off doing something really WILD.

22
22

29

For the past two days, we’ve been getting ready
for our holiday. And I’m a little worried that
Mom’the
s hoping
turn
thiswe’ve
into an
trip.
For
past to
two
days,
beeneducational
getting ready
for our holiday. And I’m a little worried that
Mom’s hoping to turn this into an educational trip.

But, believe me, the LAST thing I’m planning
on doing is any LEARNING.
But, believe me, the LAST thing I’m planning
on doing is any LEARNING.

23
23

30

Wednesday
This morning we went to the grocery store and
stocked up on food for the trip. Then we went to
Wednesday
the camping
getgrocery
everything
This
morningsuperstore
we went totothe
storeELSE
and
we’re
gonna
need.
stocked
up on
food for the trip. Then we went to
the camping superstore to get everything ELSE
I
wasgonna
pretty
excited, because we’ve never actually
we’re
need.
BOUGHT anything at the camping store before.
Dad
to take
me and
Rodrick
we
I wasused
pretty
excited,
because
we’vethere
neverwhen
actually
BOUGH
T anything
were little,
but that at
wasthe
just
to kill store
time on
a
camping
before.
Saturday
Dad
used morning.
to take me and Rodrick there when we
were little, but that was just to kill time on a
Saturday morning.

24
24

31

When we got to the store today, Dad went
around and picked up some basic supplies, like
lanterns
camping
When
we and
got flasks
to theand
store
today,chairs.
Dad went
around and picked up some basic supplies, like
But
I went
to camping
the section
of the store
lanterns
and straight
flasks and
chairs.
with the high-end gear. Because I figure if we’re
reallyIdoing
thingtoI’m
want
to bestore
But
went this
straight
thegonna
section
of the
COMFOR
TA BLE. gear. Because I figure if we’re
with
the high-end
really doing this thing I’m gonna want to be
COMFORTA BLE.

I picked out an inf latable pull-out sofa and hiking
boots with little fans built into the heels, plus
a solar-powered
that
can make
cherry
I
picked out an blender
inf latable
pull-out
sofaaand
hiking
slushie with
in thirty
boots
little seconds.
fans built into the heels, plus
a solar-powered blender that can make a cherry
slushie in thirty seconds.

25
25

32

Dad said those things weren’t for SERIOUS
campers, though, and made me put them back.
Dad said those things weren’t for SERIOUS
campers, though, and made me put them back.

Dad said we’re gonna “live off the land” as much
as possible on this trip, and he picked out a few
fishing
I “live
don’toff
know
Dad
saidrods.
we’reWell,
gonna
theabout
land”anyone
as much
else,
but the
fish I’and
ll eat
thea shape
as
possible
on only
this trip,
he comes
pickedinout
few
of
a STICK
fishing
rods. .Well, I don’t know about anyone
else, but the only fish I’ ll eat comes in the shape
of a STICK.

Manny and Rodrick got really excited
idea of catching our own food, so they
find
their
gear.
Manny
andOWN
Rodrick
got really excited
idea of catching our own food, so they
26
find their OWN gear.
26

33

about the
went off to
about the
went off to

But Mom stopped them before they could get too
carried away.
But Mom stopped them before they could get too
carried away.

Rodrick was pretty disappointed. I guess he was
planning on doing some trophy hunting while we
were on our
, anddisappointed.
was hoping to
the
Rodrick
was trip
pretty
I decorate
guess he was
kitchen when
our house
is finished.
planning
on doing
some trophy
hunting while we
were on our trip, and was hoping to decorate the
kitchen when our house is finished.

27
27

34

After Dad was done shopping, he was ready to
check out. But I think Mom was nervous that we
weren’tDad
getting
the right
kind of
so
After
was done
shopping,
he equipment,
was ready to
she asked
salesperson
lookwasover
our stuff
check
out. aBut
I think to
Mom
nervous
thatand
we
see if wegetting
had everything
needed.
weren’t
the rightwekind
of equipment, so
she asked a salesperson to look over our stuff and
see if we had everything we needed.

Well, this guy must’ve been a wilderness survival
expert or something, because he had a LOT to
say.
of it made
feel confident
about
Well,And
this none
guy must’ve
beenmea wilderness
survival
going
camping trip.
expertonor asomething,
because he had a LOT to
say. And none of it made me feel confident about
The
said the
number-one thing we needed
goingsalesman
on a camping
trip.
to worry about was BEARS, because there are
aThe
tonsalesman
of themsaid
in the
we were
going.
the places
number-one
thing
we But
needed
he
said there
few things
we could
do to
to worry
aboutwere
wasa BEARS
, because
there
are
protect
justplaces
in case.
a ton ofourselves,
them in the
we were going. But
he said there were a few things we could do to
28
protect ourselves, just in case.
28

35

The salesman said the first thing we needed to
remember was to always tie up our trash and hang
it in salesman
a tree sosaid
it would
be out
of reach
for bears.
The
the first
thing
we needed
to
Then he said
REALL
to be
we
remember
was iftowealways
tie Yupwanted
our trash
andsafe
hang
should
wolfbeurine
sprayfor
it around
it in a buy
treea sojugit of
would
out and
of reach
bears.
Y wanted
our
everyif night,
because
it scarestobears
off.we
Thencamp
he said
we REALL
be safe
should buy a jug of wolf urine and spray it around
our camp every night, because it scares bears off.

I tried to imagine whose job it is to COLLECT
wolf urine, and I promised myself I’d start
COLLEend
CT
getting
grades
in school
it doesn’t
I
tried better
to imagine
whose
job it so
is to
up being
ME
. I promised myself I’d start
wolf
urine,
and
getting better grades in school so it doesn’t end
up being ME.

29
29

36

The salesman said the other thing we had to
worry about was bugs like mosquitoes and ticks,
so wesalesman
should always
putother
on plenty
The
said the
thing of
we bug
hadspray.
to
worry about was bugs like mosquitoes and ticks,
I
totallyalways
on board
THATofidea,
so was
we should
put with
on plenty
bug because
spray.
one time Albert Sandy told everyone at our lunch
THAToutside
table
thisonkid
who with
fell asleep
and got
I
wasabout
totally
board
idea, because
sucked
by aSandy
mosquito.
thatatsoun
like a
one
timeDRY
Albert
told And
everyone
ourdslunch
pretty
bad this
way to
tofell
me.asleep outside and got
table about
kidgo
who
sucked DRY by a mosquito. And that sounds like a
pretty bad way to go to me.

I was starting to get a little nervous when the
salesman told us everything ELSE we needed. He
said
we starting
had to have
a first-aid
kit in case
I was
to get
a little nervous
whensomeone
the
got
injured,
waterproofELSE
matches
case our
salesman
told and
us everything
we inneeded.
He
gear
gothad
wet.
said we
to have a first-aid kit in case someone
got injured, and waterproof matches in case our
30
gear got wet.
30

37

Plus, we needed a compass if we got
snakebite kit if someone got bitten,
gun ifwethings
REALL
Y gotif bad.
Plus,
needed
a compass
we got
snakebite kit if someone got bitten,
gun if things REALLY got bad.

lost, a
and a f lare
lost, a
and a f lare

By the time we paid, I was a little shook up.
And, I have to admit, Gramma’s basement didn’t
seemthe
so time
terrible
more.
By
we paid, any
I was
a little shook up.
And, I have to admit, Gramma’s basement didn’t
31
seem so terrible any more.
31

38

I think the guy at the camping store stressed
Dad out, because after we paid for all the stuff
we think
kind oftherushed
outthe
of camping
there. And
were
I
guy at
storewestressed
halfway
before
realizing
Dad
out,home
because
after
we paidRodrick
for all was
the missing,
stuff
andkind
we had
to go BA
we
of rushed
outCK
of .there. And we were
halfway home before realizing Rodrick was missing,
and we had to go BACK.

After that, we drove to Gammie’s house to pick
up Uncle Gary’s camper van. I guess Dad had
thoughtthat,
it was
much
ready house
to go,tobut
it
After
wepretty
drove to
Gammie’s
pick
wasUncle
a total
MESS
inside.
up
Gary’s
camper
van. I guess Dad had
thought it was pretty much ready to go, but it
I
Dad telling
wasremember
a total MESS
inside.me that when Uncle Gary
got his first car he used to keep a bunch of
garbage
inside
so telling
no one me
would
it. Well,
I
remember
Dad
thatSTEA
whenLUncle
Gary
I
UnclecarGary
had to
thekeep
samea idea
when
gotthink
his first
he used
bunch
of it
came to his
camper
garbage
inside
so novan.
one would STEAL it. Well,
I think Uncle Gary had the same idea when it
32
came to his camper van.
32

39

We spent the whole afternoon cleaning it out, and
I wouldn’t have been too surprised if we’d actually
found
Uncle
buried
somewhere
underneath
all
We
spent
theGary
whole
afternoon
cleaning
it out, and
that
trash.have been too surprised if we’d actually
I
wouldn’t
found Uncle Gary buried somewhere underneath all
that trash.

33
33

40

Once we got the junk out of there, we were
finally able to take a good look around the camper
van. Iwecould
see how
was we
ablewere
to live
Once
got the
junkUncle
out ofGary
there,
in thereable
fortotwo
years,
because
had ever
ng
finally
take
a good
look it
around
theythi
camper
a person
couldsee
NEED
van.
I could
how .Uncle Gary was able to live
in there for two years, because it had everything
NEED
There
wascould
a stove,
a .sink, a kitchen table and
a person
a little refrigerator. Plus, there was a bathroom
wi
th a was
shower
in it, aand
somea extra
space
There
a stove,
sink,
kitchen
tableabove
and the
sleeping. Plus, there was a bathroom
acabin
littleforrefrigerator.
with a shower in it, and some extra space above the
cabin for sleeping.

We scrubbed everything down, but each time
we thought we were finished cleaning we’d find
something
elseeverything
Uncle Gary
had but
left each
behind.
We
scrubbed
down,
time
we thought we were finished cleaning we’d find
34
something else Uncle Gary had left behind.
34

41

And I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but
I seriously hope Uncle Gary has bought new
underwear
sincemean
he moved
out. or anything, but
And
I don’t
to be rude
I seriously hope Uncle Gary has bought new
underwear since he moved out.

After Gammie gave us some sandwiches to take
with us, we hit the road.
After Gammie gave us some sandwiches to take
with us, we hit the road.

35
35

42

When we started off, Dad was SUPER excited
about the camper van. He said since he could work
SUPER
anywhere
he wanted
could
live onexcited
the
When
we started
off,now,
Dadwewas
road
house
wasHefinished,
and
even
aboutuntil
the our
camper
van.
said since
hemaybe
could work
L
ONGERhe
. wanted now, we could live on the
anywhere
road until our house was finished, and maybe even
L
ONGER
Then
Mom . chimed in. She said we could travel
around the country and record our adventures,
then become
one ofin.those
families
famous
Then
Mom chimed
She said
we who
couldgets
travel
on the the
Internet.
around
country and record our adventures,
then become one of those families who gets famous
on the Internet.

I was actually starting to get into the whole
camper lifestyle, too.
I was actually starting to get into the whole
36
camper lifestyle, too.
36

43

Mostly I just thought it was cool that I could
use the toilet while we were cruising down the
highway.I just thought it was cool that I could
Mostly
use the toilet while we were cruising down the
highway.

The only thing I didn’t like about Uncle Gary’s
camper van was that it didn’t have seat belts in
the living
area, I
which
waslike
a problem
whenever
Dad
The
only thing
didn’t
about Uncle
Gary’s
hit the van
brakes.
camper
was that it didn’t have seat belts in
the living area, which was a problem whenever Dad
hit the brakes.

37
37

44

When traffic slowed down, Mom let Manny sit
in the front seat so he could feel like he was
“driving”.
But slowed
I think
she Mom
realized
was a sit
When
traffic
down,
let itManny
mistake
when seat
he started
layingfeel
intolike
thehehorn.
in
the front
so he could
was
“driving”. But I think she realized it was a
mistake when he started laying into the horn.

It was cool being out on the open road and all,
but after a while everything started to kind of
look was
the cool
same.
So me
Rodrick
It
being
outand
on the
open went
road on
andourall,
gadgets
time. started to kind of
but aftertoa pass
while the
everything
look the same. So me and Rodrick went on our
After
so, time.
Mom said we’d had enough
gadgetsantohour
passorthe
screen time for the day and we needed to be off
our electronics.
After
an hour or so, Mom said we’d had enough
screen time for the day and we needed to be off
38
our electronics.
38

45

Usually when Mom tells us we’ve had enough screen
time, we’ ll take a break. But as soon as she stops
paying attention
ll get
righthad
back
on.
Usually
when Mom we’
tells
us we’ve
enou
ghAnd
screen
after we’
a while
she’allbreak.
get tired
time,
ll take
But ofas fighting
soon as susheand
stops
just giveattention
up, whichwe’isll what
we thought
paying
get right
back on.would
And
happena today.
after
while she’ ll get tired of fighting us and
just give up, which is what we thought would
happen today.

It turned out Mom wasn’t messing around on this
trip. When we got back on our devices, she put
themturned
in a clear
box that
had around
a timer on
on this
top.
It
out plastic
Mom wasn’t
messing
trip. When we got back on our devices, she put
them in a clear plastic box that had a timer on top.

39
39

46

The second I saw that thing I knew what it
was, because I’d seen the ads in one of Mom’s
parenting
The
secondmagazines.
I saw that thing I knew what it
was, because I’d seen the ads in one of Mom’s
parenting magazines.

Mom set the timer for two hours, then went back
to her seat in the front. Whoever made that
thing
doing,then
because
meback
Mo
m seknew
t thewhat
timerthey
for were
two hours,
went
andheRodr
dn’t
figureWhoever
out howmade
to crack
to
r seaick
t incoul
the
front.
that it.
thing knew what they were doing, because me
40
and Rodrick couldn’t figure out how to crack it.
40

47

Mom handed us some activities she’d created for the
trip and said they should keep us busy for a while.
But
wasn’t usthat
fun playing
Wildlife for
Bingo
Mom ithanded
somemuch
activities
she’d created
the
whenand
we couldn’t
identify
the for
animals
we
trip
said theyeven
should
keep half
us busy
a while.
saw along
the that
side of
thefun
road.
But
it wasn’t
much
playing Wildlife Bingo
when we couldn’t even identify half the animals we
saw along the side of the road.

After another hour or two of driving, Mom and
Dad started looking for places to stop.
After another hour or two of driving, Mom and
41
Dad started looking for places to stop.
41

48

There were some signs for “scenic attractions”,
so Dad pulled over at the exit for a place called
Culpepper’s
Ravine.
There
were some
signs for “scenic attractions”,
so Dad pulled over at the exit for a place called
Mom
got all Ravine.
excited because she said we were like
Culpepper’s
explorers who were about to see something new.
But unfortunately
OTHER
explorers
beatlike
us
Mom
got all excitedsome
because
she said
we were
to
it.
explorers
who were about to see something new.
But unfortunately some OTHER explorers beat us
to it.

We couldn’t find any parking, so we had to move
along. And it was the exact same story for the
nextcouldn’t
three places
we parking,
tried to stop.
We
find any
so we had to move
along. And it was the exact same story for the
42
next three places we tried to stop.
42

49

I know I should feel lucky to be alive at a time
when there’s modern medicine and smartwatches
andknow
peanut-butter-filled
pretzels.
But sometimes
I
I should feel lucky
to be alive
at a time
I wishthere’s
I wasmodern
born amedicine
little SOONER
so I had a
when
and smartwatches
chance
to actually DISCOpretzels.
VER something.
and peanut-butter-filled
But sometimes
I wish I was born a little SOONER so I had a
DISC
OVER something.
Because
you find
something
new they NAME
chance towhen
actually
it after you.
Because when you find something new they NAME
it after you.

But by now everything worth finding has already
been discovered.
But by now everything worth finding has already
43
been discovered.
43

50

And you wouldn’t really want your name on any of
the stuff that’s left over.
And you wouldn’t really want your name on any of
the stuff that’s left over.

One time the planetarium in our town had a
fundraiser, and if you paid ten bucks you’d get
a cert
ificat
e th
at said a planet
in some
faraway
One
time
the
planetarium
in our town
had
a
galaxy
you.ten
So bucks
Mom paid
fu
ndraiswas
er, named
and if after
you paid
you’dthe
getten
s,ifan
d eIthstat
ill said
have athe
certificate
abuck
cert
icat
planet
in some hanging
faraway on
the wallwas
in named
my bedroom.
galaxy
after you. So Mom paid the ten
bucks, and I still have the certificate hanging on
the wall in my bedroom.

44
44

51

But when Mom filled out the form I wish she’d
put my first AND last name on it. Because now
some
random
Greg
my Iplanet
before
But when
Mom
filledcould
out get
the to
form
wish she’d
I
sayAND
it’s HIS
putdomyand
first
last. name on it. Because now
some random Greg could get to my planet before
I do and say it’s HIS.

Dad said our mistake was that we were going
to places everyone knew about, and if we got
off the
we was
might
findwesomething
Dad
saidmain
our road
mistake
that
were going
SPE
CIALeveryone
.
to places
knew about, and if we got
off the main road we might find something
SPE
CIAL
So we
took. a detour and kept our eyes peeled
for anything that looked like it was worth
stopping
for.
So
we took
a detour and kept our eyes peeled
for anything that looked like it was worth
stopping for.

45
45

52

And, sure enough, after we took a few more
turns, we found a crystal-clear lake with nobody
else in sure
SIGHT
.
And,
enough,
after we took a few more
turns, we found a crystal-clear lake with nobody
else in SIGHT.

The air-conditioning in Uncle Gary’s camper van
wasn’t working, and everyone was ready to cool
off. So
we got into our
swimming
gear
and took
The
air-conditioning
in Uncle
Gary’s
camper
van a
dip in the
lake. and everyone was ready to cool
wasn’t
working,
off. So we got into our swimming gear and took a
dip in the lake.

46
46

53

It took a second before I realized something
wasn’t RIGHT. I noticed a million shimmering
objects
beneath
the I
surface,
and
my mind
It tookjust
a second
before
realized
something
RIGHT
went right
to .PIRANHA
I’m pretty
sure
wasn’t
I noticedSa. million
shimmering
everyone
ELSE
’ S did,thetoo.
objects just
beneath
surface, and my mind
went right to PIRANHAS. I’m pretty sure
everyone ELSE’ S did, too.

I
of
I
of

was almost at the shore when I felt a bunch
tiny mouths NIBBLING me.
was almost at the shore when I felt a bunch
tiny mouths NIBBLING me.

47
47

54

I thought I was being eaten ALIVE. And
by the time I made it out of the water I was
surprised
to Ibewas
in one
piece.
I
thought
being
eaten ALIVE. And
by the time I made it out of the water I was
Or
ALMOtoSTbeininone
surprised
onepiece.
piece.I had a scab on my
knee when I got into the water, but by the time
ALMO
I got
out SitTwas
totally
CLEAN
Or
in one
piece.picked
I had
a scab .on my
knee when I got into the water, but by the time
I got out it was totally picked CLEAN.

Just then a truck pulled up, and the two guys
inside looked angry.
Just then a truck pulled up, and the two guys
inside looked angry.

48
48

55

That’s when we
swimming in was
That’s when we
swimming in was

found out the lake we were
a FISH HATCHERY.
found out the lake we were
a FISH HATCHERY.

I think those guys were about to call the cops
on us for TRESPASSING, and we didn’t wanna
stick
around
to guys
find were
out. So
we to
piled
I think
those
about
callinto
thethe
cops
ASSING
camper
vanTRE
andSP
Dad
stepped
on the
gas. wanna
on
us for
, and
we didn’t
stick around to find out. So we piled into the
camper van and Dad stepped on the gas.

49
49

56

The next time Mom makes fish for dinner, I’m
definitely gonna check the package to see where
they next
came time
fromMom
first.
The
makes fish for dinner, I’m
definitely gonna check the package to see where
The
thingfirst.
is, the fish hatchery wasn’t the
they crazy
came from
LAST place we got chased away from today. We
tried
parking
theis,camper
vanhatchery
in a meadow
so we
The crazy
thing
the fish
wasn’t
the
LAS
couldTget
outwe
andgot
enjoy
theaway
view from
while today.
we ate,We
but
place
chased
it
turned
out to
somebody’s
.
tried
parking
thebecamper
van inFARM
a meadow
so we
could get out and enjoy the view while we ate, but
it turned out to be somebody’s FARM.

We finally found a field that didn’t look like it
belonged to anyone, so that’s where we stopped
for finally
the night.
We
found a field that didn’t look like it
belonged to anyone, so that’s where we stopped
50
for the night.
50

57

The sleeping situation wasn’t great. The kitchen
table converted into a BED, which is where Mom
and
slept.
The Dad
sleeping
situation wasn’t great. The kitchen
table converted into a BED, which is where Mom
and Dad slept.

I wasn’t crazy about the idea of eating breakfast
off the spot where Dad slept in his boxer shorts.
I wasn’t crazy about the idea of eating breakfast
I
share
theDad
loft slept
above inthe
offhad
thetospot
where
hiscabin
boxerwith
shorts.
Rodrick, which wasn’t much of an improvement on
ourhad
dealtoin share
Gramma’s
basement.
I
the loft
above the cabin with
Rodrick, which wasn’t much of an improvement on
our deal in Gramma’s basement.

51
51

58

The only person who had any space to himself was
Manny. He’d turned one of the cabinets in the
kitchenette
into awho
little
his set-up
The
only person
hadapartment,
any space and
to himself
was
was actually
. cabinets in the
Mann
y. He’d pretty
turned SWEET
one of the
kitchenette into a little apartment, and his set-up
was actually pretty SWEET.

While Mom and Dad were getting ready for bed,
I found out a m ajor downside of the camper van.
The bathroom
thin,
andfor
with
While
Mom andwalls
Dad were
were paper
getting
ready
bed,
thefound
engineoutoffa m
you
hear EVER
I
ajorcould
downside
of theYTHING
camper van.
happening
in there.
And,paper
trustthin,
me, no
wants
The bathroom
walls were
andkidwith
to hear
his off
mother’s
bathroom
noises.YTHING
the
engine
you could
hear EVER
happening in there. And, trust me, no kid wants
to hear his mother’s bathroom noises.

52
52

59

Thursday
It turns out the place we stopped for the night
was a public park. Little League practice started
Thursday
firstturns
thingout
in the place
morning,
and we were
parked
It
we stopped
for the
night
righta over
pitcher’s
was
publicthe
park.
Little mound.
League practice started
first thing in the morning, and we were parked
right over the pitcher’s mound.

Luckily, we were able to take off before some kid
broke a tail light with a direct hit.
Luckily, we were able to take off before some kid
Mom
shelight
didn’t
want
a repeat
brokesaid
a tail
with
a direct
hit. of yesterday
and asked everyone to think of something we could
do that
. Andofthat’s
when
Mom
saidwas
she guaranteed
didn’t wantFUN
a repeat
yesterday
I
a billboard
I saw
the day before.
andremembered
asked everyone
to think
of something
we could
do that was guaranteed FUN. And that’s when
I remembered a billboard I saw the day before. 53
53

60

The billboard was for this place called the Family
Adventure Centre. Usually, whenever the word
“family”
is part
something,
a warning
The
billboard
wasoffor
this placeit’scalled
the Fato
mily
stay away. But
the pictures
the signthe
made
me
Adventure
Centre.
Usually, on
whenever
word
think this
place of
could
be DIFFERENT
.
“family”
is part
something,
it’s a warning
to
stay away. But the pictures on the sign made me
think this place could be DIFFERENT.

We had to backtrack about two hours to find the
adventure centre, but it didn’t really matter since
we
headed
anywhere
to begin
with.
We weren’t
had to really
backtrack
about
two hours
to find
the
adventure centre, but it didn’t really matter since
I
to really
say, this
placeanywhere
was pretty
cool. with.
There
we have
weren’t
headed
to begin
were a million activities, and I wanted to do them
ALhave
L. to say, this place was pretty cool. There
I
were a million activities, and I wanted to do them
ALL.
54
54

61

But everything had an
and Manny wasn’t tall
activities.
But everything had an
and Manny wasn’t tall
activities.

age and height requirement,
enough to do any GOOD
age and height requirement,
enough to do any GOOD

The only activity Manny was big enough for was
the Fun Float, where you drifted down the river in
inneronly
tubes.
So that’s
signed
The
activity
Mannywhat
was Mom
big enou
gh fus
or up
wasfor.
the Fun Float, where you drifted down the river in
inner tubes. So that’s what Mom signed us up for.

55
55

62

I really wanted to do something more exciting,
like rock climbing, but Mom was dead set on us all
doing
something
I
really
wanted as
to adofamily.
something more exciting,
like rock climbing, but Mom was dead set on us all
Mom
the FunasFloat
would be RELAXING,
doingsaid
something
a family.
and after we put on our life jackets we grabbed
the cooler
andFun
a few
other
things
from the ,
Mom
said the
Float
would
be RELAXING
camper
vanwetoput
takeonwith
us on
the river.
and
after
our life
jackets
we grabbed
the cooler and a few other things from the
camper van to take with us on the river.

After our experience with the fish farm yesterday,
I wasn’t crazy about getting into the water
again. But
there werewith
a bunch
After
our experience
the of
fishother
farmpeople
yesterday,
doing
the crazy
Fun Float,
and into
I figured
if there
I
wasn’t
abouttoo,
getting
the water
were
in the
river they’d
go people
for THEM
ag
ain.any
Butpiranhas
there were
a bunch
of other
before
they’d
for ME
doing the
Fungo
Float,
too,. and I figured if there
were any piranhas in the river they’d go for THEM
56
before they’d go for ME.
56

63

I have to admit that once we got going it
WAS kind of relaxing. Maybe even a little TOO
relaxing.
fell asleep,
I have toRodrick
admit that
once wewhile
got Dad
goinganswered
it
WA
workS emails
andrelaxing.
Mom checked
witha Manny’s
kind of
Maybe ineven
little TOO
doctor.
relaxing. Rodrick fell asleep, while Dad answered
work emails and Mom checked in with Manny’s
doctor.

57
57

64

So no one was really paying attention when we
hit a shallow part in the river and came to a
complete
. We paying
had to attention
take our tubes
So
no oneSTOP
was really
when out
we
of
water,part
and in
it wasn’t
funand
walking
hit the
a shallow
the river
came across
to a a
bunch
of STOP
sharp rocks
in our
complete
. We had
to bare
takefeet.
our tubes out
of the water, and it wasn’t fun walking across a
bunch of sharp rocks in our bare feet.

Once the river got deeper, we put the tubes
back in the water. But my inner tube must’ve got
punctured
in thegot
shallow
part,
becaus
e ittubes
was losing
Once
the river
deeper,
we put
the
air. So
Manny’s
tube,
andtube
we must’ve
emptiedgot
the
back
in I
thetook
water.
But my
inner
ice out of the
cooler
so hepart,
couldbeuse
. losing
punctured
in the
shallow
causTHA
e it Twas
air. So I took Manny’s tube, and we emptied the
ice out of the cooler so he could use THAT.

58
58

65

I thought the trip was gonna take twenty
minutes, but it had already been two HOURS,
with
no end the
in sight.
Andgonna
we really
down
I thought
trip was
takeslowed
twenty
when
we got
of people,
minutes,
but stuck
it hadbehind
alreadya big
beengroup
two HOURS
jamming
up the
river. And we really slowed down
with no end
in sight.
when we got stuck behind a big group of people
jamming up the river.

I hit a warm spot in the water, and I’ve been in
enough baby pools to know what THAT meant. So
when
river spot
got wider
paddledand
myI’ve
tubebeen
around
I hitthe
a warm
in theIwater,
in
those guys
try to
to know
get out
of THA
theirTwake.
enough
babytopools
what
meant. So
when the river got wider I paddled my tube around
those guys to try to get out of their wake.

59
59

66

Unfortunately, I went a little too far and ended
up in a part of the river where the water was
really rough. IAnd
a few
seconds
laterand
I ended
got
Unfortunately,
went
a little
too far
tossed
tube.where the water was
up in a from
part my
of inner
the river
really rough. And a few seconds later I got
tossed from my inner tube.

It was actually pretty SCARY. The water was
moving fast, so I pointed my feet downstream to
Y. The
makewas
sure
I didn’t
crackSCAR
my head
open
on awas
rock.
It
actually
pretty
water
moving fast, so I pointed my feet downstream to
make sure I didn’t crack my head open on a rock.

I called out for HELP, but the people around me
had their music up too loud to even notice.
I called out for HELP, but the people around me
60
had their music up too loud to even notice.
60

67

My family tried to save me, but it turns out
they’re totally useless in an emergency.
My family tried to save me, but it turns out
they’re totally useless in an emergency.

61
61

68

Up ahead, people were pulling their inner tubes
out of the river in the landing area, so I tried
to paddle
Up
ahead,myself
peopleover
werethere.
pulling their inner tubes
out of the river in the landing area, so I tried
to paddle myself over there.

But the water was moving too fast, and I was
getting pulled downstream. My family got out
of the
was too
yelling
andand
pointing
But
theriver,
waterand
wasDad
moving
fast,
I was
at something
me. That’s
I got
saw out
a
getting
pullednear
downstream.
Mywhen
family
big the
branch
hanging
out was
overyelling
the water,
and I
of
river,
and Dad
and pointing
grabbed
it. near me. That’s when I saw a
at
something
big branch hanging out over the water, and I
grabbed it.

62
62

69

For a second I thought everything was going to be
OK. Then I noticed something drifting away from
me
realized
was myeverything
swimming
shorts
Forand
a second
I it
thought
was going
to be.
OK. Then I noticed something drifting away from
me and realized it was my swimming shorts.

A lifeguard from the adventure centre started
wading out towards me with a float. And I knew
if I
just kept
on to that
branch
she’d
A
lifeguard
fromhanging
the adventure
centre
started
RESCUE
wading
out me.
towards me with a float. And I knew
if I just kept hanging on to that branch she’d
RESCUE me.

But all I could think of were the people in the
landing area who were about to see me without
my swimming
shorts.
Rodrick
already
But
all I could
thinkAnd
of were
the was
people
in the
recordingarea
me who
with were
his phone.
landing
about to see me without
my swimming shorts. And Rodrick was already
recording me with his phone.

63
63

70

So I decided the best move was to let GO and
take my chances.
So I decided the best move was to let GO and
take my chances.

Luckily, the water wasn’t as rocky downstream,
but it was still moving fast. By the time I was
able to drag
myself wasn’t
on to as
therocky
shore,
I must’ve
Luckily,
the water
downstream,
beenita was
quarter
a milefast.
fromBy
thethe
landing
area.
but
still of
moving
time I
was
And to
I drag
nevermyself
did find
but
able
on my
to swimming
the shore,shorts,
I must’ve
thankfully
I found
COOLER
.
been a quarter
of a the
mile from
the landing
area.
And I never did find my swimming shorts, but
thankfully I found the COOLER.

64
64

71

Friday
Last night everyone in my family agreed that our
trip was off to a pretty terrible start. But we
Friday
couldn’t
decide
what to
do NEXT
Last
night
everyone
in my
family .agreed that our
trip was off to a pretty terrible start. But we
NEXTthis
I
thought
we what
shouldtojust
couldn’t
decide
do admit
. trip was a
MISTAKE and go back to Gramma’s. But Dad
said
we couldn’t
turn round
now because
we was
hadn’t
I thought
we should
just admit
this trip
a
MIS
AKEactual
doneTany
CAMPING
yet.
and go
back to Gramma’s.
But Dad
said we couldn’t turn round now because we hadn’t
CAMPING
Dad
a nationalyet.
forest a few hours
done said
any there
actual was
away, and if we camped there we could stay in one
place said
for there
the rest
the trip forest
and relax
a
Dad
was ofa national
a fewforhours
change.
away, and if we camped there we could stay in one
place for the rest of the trip and relax for a
change.

65
65

72

I wasn’t crazy about going off on our own, but I
knew how the rest of the summer was gonna play
outwasn’t
if we went
Gramma’s
I
crazy back
abouttogoing
off onbasement
our own,now.
but I
knew how the rest of the summer was gonna play
out if we went back to Gramma’s basement now.

I didn’t feel great about camping in the wilderness,
but Dad said, if we got into any trouble, there
were
rangers
help
us out.inAnd
I
didn’t
feel who
greatcould
about
camping
the that
wildermade
ness,
me
little ifbetter.
but feel
Dada said,
we got into any trouble, there
were rangers who could help us out. And that made
So
we spent
night in the car park of the
me feel
a littlethe
better.
adventure centre, and first thing in the morning
we headed
thenight
national
forest.
So
we spentforthe
in the
car park of the
adventure centre, and first thing in the morning
66
we headed for the national forest.
66

73

The ranger at the entrance told us it hadn’t
rained in a few weeks, so the risk of fire was really
high.ranger
Then at
shethe
gaveentrance
Dad a map
pamphlet
The
told and
us ita hadn’t
with
howweeks,
to camp
responsibly.
rainedtips
in aonfew
so the
risk of fire was really
high. Then she gave Dad a map and a pamphlet
with tips on how to camp responsibly.

The forest was big, so it took a while for us to
get to our pitch. And we didn’t see a single human
beingforest
on ourwas
waybig,
in. so it took a while for us to
The
get to our pitch. And we didn’t see a single human
The
wasway
actually
beingpitch
on our
in. really nice. There was a
lot of space for the camper van, and we were
rightpitch
next was
to aactually
little stream.
After
we set
The
really nice.
There
wasupa our
hamm
k andfor
chaithe
rs, camper
we kicked
back
lot
ofocspace
van,
andand
weenjoyed
were
being out
naaturlittle
e. stream. After we set up our
right
nextin to
hammock and chairs, we kicked back and enjoyed
67
being out in nature.
67

74

At least MOST of us did. After a few minutes,
Mom asked what our “plan” was, and Dad said this
WAS
theMOS
plan.T of us did. After a few minutes,
At
least
Mom asked what our “plan” was, and Dad said this
WAS the plan.

Mom said we couldn’t just sit around all day, and
we needed to do something ACTIVE like go on a
nature
hike
something.
Mom said
we orcouldn’t
just sit around all day, and
we needed to do something ACTIVE like go on a
But
that
sounded
like a lot of work to us guys,
nature
hike
or something.
especially after a long drive. So Mom said if we
were that
all gonna
lazelike
around
our
But
sounded
a lotshe
of was
workgonna
to us put
guys,
electronicsafter
in thea long
Vault drive.
for the
theif trip.
especially
So rest
Mom of
said
we
And
that
was enough
to get
moving.
were all
gonna
laze around
sheuswas
gonna put our
electronics in the Vault for the rest of the trip.
68
And that was enough to get us moving.
68

75

Mom pulled out the map and found a trail that
was nearby. And before we headed off on the
hike, pulled
she told
up oura trail
flasksthat
and
Mom
out everyone
the map to
andfillfound
put nearby.
on bug spray.
But Iwewas
a lot off
moreonworried
was
And before
headed
the
about she
BEARS
than bugs.
hike,
told everyone
to fill up our flasks and
put on bug spray. But I was a lot more worried
BEARS that
I
remembered
guy at the camping store
about
than the
bugs.
said if you saw a bear out in nature the best thing
you
could do was
make
it away. store
I remembered
that
thenoise
guyto
atscare
the camping
said if you saw a bear out in nature the best thing
Luckily,
some
pans
you could Uncle
do wasGary
makeleft
noise
to pots
scare and
it away.
under the sink in the camper van. But I wasn’t
gonna wait
until
we SPO
a bear
start
Luckily,
Uncle
Gary
left TTED
some pots
and to
pans
making
a racket.
under the
sink in the camper van. But I wasn’t
gonna wait until we SPOTTED a bear to start
making a racket.

69
69

76

Everyone got annoyed with me pretty quick, and
Mom told me I needed to take the cookware back
to the camper
van.
Everyone
got annoyed
with me pretty quick, and
Mom told me I needed to take the cookware back
to the camper van.

She said I could catch up with them further down
the trail, and I was actually fine with that,
because
stuffcatch
was pretty
anyway.down
Plus,
She
saidthat
I could
up withheavy,
them further
I watrai
s star
wonder
if the
the
l, ating
nd Itowas
actually
fine noise
with might
that,
actuallythat
ATTRA
because
because
stuffCT
wasbears,
pretty
heavy,whenever
anyway. I
Plus,
hear
I’m thinking
.
I wapots
s starand
tingpans
to wonder
if the DINNER
noise might
actually ATTRACT bears, because whenever I
After
I put
back inDINNER
the camper
hear pots
and the
panscookware
I’m thinking
.
van, I turned round and got back on the trail.
I thought
I hurried
it might
ten
After
I putif the
cookware
back intake
the me
camper
minutes
reconnect
everyone.
Butthe
then
I
van,
I to
turned
round with
and got
back on
trail.
ranthought
into a PR
. it might take me ten
I
if OBLEM
I hurried
minutes to reconnect with everyone. But then I
70
ran into a PROBLEM.
70

77

The trail SPLIT, and I didn’t know which way
my family went.
The trail SPLIT, and I didn’t know which way
my family went.

I figured the odds were 50-50, so I headed
LEFT. But I walked for a long time without
finding
them
figured
I must’vesopicked
the
I figured
theand
odds
were 50-50,
I headed
LEFT
wrong .path.
I went
to the
where
But ISowalked
forback
a long
time place
without
the forkthem
in the
was,Iand
that’spicked
wherethe
I hit
finding
andtrail
figured
must’ve
ANOTpath.
HER snag.
wrong
So I went back to the place where
the fork in the trail was, and that’s where I hit
ANO
I wasTHER
all turned
snag.round and couldn’t remember
which path was the one I hadn’t taken yet and
which
led backround
to the
van.
And I
I
wasone
all turned
andcamper
couldn’t
remember
couldn’tpath
tell was
which
because,
to me,
which
thewas
onewhich
I hadn’t
taken
yet every
and
tree
looked
AME. van. And I
whichand
one rock
led back
to the
the Scamper
couldn’t tell which was which because, to me, every
71
tree and rock looked the SAME.
71

78

That’s when I started to get WORRIED. I
remembered the guy at the camping store saying
WORRIED
that sometimes
willtouseget
human
trails because
That’s
when I bears
started
.I
it’s
easier than
through
the store
brush.saying
So I
remembered
the walking
guy at the
camping
really sometimes
didn’t feelbears
goodwill
about
out inbecause
the
that
use hanging
human trails
middle
of an
INTERSE
CTION.the brush. So I
it’s
easier
than
walking through
really didn’t feel good about hanging out in the
INTERSE
CTION
I’ve
that
a bear’s sense
of .smell is a thousand
middleread
of an
times better than a human’s. So, when I pulled
I’ve
readcontainer
that a bear’s
of had
smellinismy
a thousand
out the
of lip sense
balm I
pocket,
I practically
started
hyperventilating.
times
better than
a human’s.
So, when I pulled
out the container of lip balm I had in my pocket,
I practically started hyperventilating.

I decided to get off the trail, which turned out
to be a dumb move. Because once I was off the
path
I couldn’t
BAwhich
CK. turned out
I
decided
to getfind
off my
theway
trail,
to be a dumb move. Because once I was off the
My
started find
racing,
and BA
I CK
thought
about
pathmind
I couldn’t
my way
.
what would happen if I was lost for GOOD.
My mind started racing, and I thought about
72
what would happen if I was lost for GOOD.
72

79

I’ve read stories about human beings who got cut
off from civilization and were raised by WOLVES.
I
didn’t
if about
there human
were any
wolves
thiscut
I’ve
read know
stories
beings
whoingot
forest,
there were
of squirrels
off
frombut
civilization
and plenty
were raised
by WOLVES..
I didn’t know if there were any wolves in this
forest, but there were plenty of squirrels.

Luckily, my family found me before things could
get too crazy. Because in another hour or two I
might’ve my
beenfamily
too far
gone.
Luckily,
found
me before things could
get too crazy. Because in another hour or two I
might’ve been too far gone.

73
73

80

When we got back to camp, Mom asked Rodrick to
check me for ticks, since I’d been off the trail.
He looked
me over
told me
I asked
had a Rodrick
HUGE to
When
we got
back and
to camp,
Mom
tick
in the
middle
mybeen
back.off the trail.
checkright
me for
ticks,
sinceofI’d
He looked me over and told me I had a HUGE
tick right in the middle of my back.

Rodrick said the tick must’ve been on me for
a while, because it looked like it was about to
BURST
Andthe
I tick
almost
passed
outonwhen
he
Rodrick .said
must’ve
been
me for
the picture
he like
tookiton
phone.
ashowed
while, me
because
it looked
washisabout
to
BURST. And I almost passed out when he
showed me the picture he took on his phone.

74
74

81

It turns out it was just a JOKE, and the
picture was something Rodrick found online. But,
eventurns
afterout
I KNEW
it was
a joke,
I still
It
it was just
a JOKE
, and
the felt
like
something
was in the
middlefound
of myonline.
back for
picture
was something
Rodrick
But,
KNEW
the rest
day. it was a joke, I still felt
even
afterofIthe
like something was in the middle of my back for
Mom
said of
everyone
should take a shower, since it
the rest
the day.
had been two days and we were starting to stink.
Rodrick
first,should
and he
wasa inshower,
there for
Mom
saidwent
everyone
take
sinceatit
leastbeen
half two
an hour.
So, when
it was
my turn,
had
days and
we were
starting
to stink.
there waswent
no hot
water
Rodrick
first,
and left.
he was in there for at
least half an hour. So, when it was my turn,
there was no hot water left.

Dad checked the propane tank and said it was
empty, which meant it was cold showers from
now on.
No one
happytank
aboutand
that,
Dad
checked
thewas
propane
said especially
it was
MOM
empty,. which meant it was cold showers from
now on. No one was happy about that, especially
MOM.
75
75

82

I noticed it was really starting to SMELL in
the bathroom, so I told Dad. He said the reason
it stank
because
westarting
hadn’t emptied
out the
I
noticedwas
it was
really
to SMELL
in
sewage
tank yet.
the bathroom,
so I told Dad. He said the reason
it stank was because we hadn’t emptied out the
sewage tank yet.

To be honest with you, I didn’t even THINK
about what happened to our waste in there.
To be honest with you, I didn’t even THINK
Back
when you fto
lushourthe
toilet,
everything
about home,
what happened
waste
in there.
gets magically whisked away to some faraway
place.home,
But inwhen
a cayou
mperf lush
van the
you’re
actually
carrying
Back
toilet,
everything
that magically
stuff around
WITH
you.to some faraway
gets
whisked
away
place. But in a camper van you’re actually carrying
WITH
If
had known
beforehand,
I’m not sure
thatIstuff
around that
you.
I would’ve agreed to go on this trip.
If I had known that beforehand, I’m not sure
76
I would’ve agreed to go on this trip.
76

83

Now I was starting to worry about what
happened if the tank OVERFLOWED. So today,
whenever
someone
looked
like they
needed
Now I was
starting
to worry
about
whatto go
OVERFL
OWED
number
two,
I’d tank
try to
talk them
into .taking
it
happened
if the
So today,
somewheresomeone
ELSE. looked like they needed to go
whenever
number two, I’d try to talk them into taking it
somewhere ELSE.

77
77

84

I guess I should be grateful we live in a time
when toilets even EXIST. Rodrick told me that
the
guy who
invented
the f lushing
I guess
I should
be grateful
we livetoilet
in a was
time
EXISTAnd
named
Thomas
Crapper.
I don’t
if
when toilets
even
. Rodrick
toldknow
me that
that’s
if it’s another
one oftoilet
his jokes.
the
guytrue
whoorinvented
the f lushing
was
named Thomas Crapper. And I don’t know if
If
it’s true
TRUE
that one
guyofmade
a ton of
that’s
or ,if Iit’shope
another
his jokes.
money. Because I wouldn’t want a body function
TRUE
named
ME
. hope that guy made a ton of
If
it’s after
,I
money. Because I wouldn’t want a body function
named after ME.

Dad got a fire going and cooked some beef stew.
He was gonna serve baked beans to go with it,
but Rodrick
leftgoing
the can
closesome
to the
Dad
got a fire
and too
cooked
beeffire,
stew.
andwas
that
was the
of THA
T.to go with it,
He
gonna
serveend
baked
beans
but Rodrick left the can too close to the fire,
78
and that was the end of THAT.
78

85

After dinner, we tied up our trash and hoisted it
in a tree with a rope, like the guy at the camping
store told
us to.
figured
any bear
smartit
After
dinner,
we Itied
up ourif trash
and was
hoisted
enough
get aatrope,
our trash,
deserved
in
a treetowith
like thethen
guy they
at the
camping
to have
it. us to. I figured if any bear was smart
store
told
enough to get at our trash, then they deserved
to have it.

79
79

86

By now it was dark out, and Mom said we should
turn in for the night. But Dad said the best part
of camping
wasdark
sitting
the campfire
under
By
now it was
out,round
and Mom
said we should
the stars.
turn
in for the night. But Dad said the best part
of camping was sitting round the campfire under
That
got Mom all EXCITED and she tried to get
the stars.
us to join in on a song that she said she learned
EXCITED
at summer
camp all
when
she was and
a kid.
thetorest
That
got Mom
sheBut
tried
get
of
us aren’t
on that
sing-alongs,
welearned
just
us to
join in real
on abig
song
she saidsoshe
waited
for camp
Mom to
wrap
up.a kid. But the rest
at
summer
when
sheitwas
of us aren’t real big on sing-alongs, so we just
waited for Mom to wrap it up.

After that, Dad brought out some marshmallows,
and we found some long sticks.
After that, Dad brought out some marshmallows,
80
and we found some long sticks.
80

87

While we were roasting our marshmallows over the
fire, Dad got all serious. He told us that a long
time ago
he went
camping
his dad, over
and the
While
we were
roasting
our with
marshmallows
they’dDad
metgot
a crusty
old ranger
fire,
all serious.
He toldwho
us told
that them
a longa
crazyago
story.
time
he went camping with his dad, and
they’d met a crusty old ranger who told them a
crazy story.

The ranger said he used to have a beagle named
Matilda, and she’d follow him wherever he’d go.
But then
thehave
ranger
made named
a
The
rangerthis
saidonehenight
used to
a beagle
FIRE, and
saw follow
a weirdhimcreature
with
glowing
Matilda,
andheshe’d
wherever
he’d
go.
red
the ranger
edge ofmade
the camp.
But eyes
thenprowling
this one around
night the
a
FIRE, and he saw a weird creature with glowing
red eyes prowling around the edge of the camp.

81
81

88

Matilda chased after the creature, and the ranger
tracked her deep into the woods. But the only
trace of chased
the dogafter
was the
her creature,
broken collar
on the
Matilda
and lying
the ranger
ground. her deep into the woods. But the only
tracked
trace of the dog was her broken collar lying on the
ground.

Dad said that every night the ranger would sleep
in his cabin alone, hoping Matilda would find her
way back
to him.
Andnight
on nights
just like
tonight,
Dad
said that
every
the ranger
would
sleep
when
was a crescent
moon, he’d
in
his there
cabin alone,
hoping Matilda
wouldhear
findthe
her
howl back
of a to
beagle
woods.
way
him. deep
And inonthe
nights
just like tonight,
when there was a crescent moon, he’d hear the
howl of a beagle deep in the woods.

82
82

89

Mom wasn’t happy with Dad for telling that story
because Manny seemed really shook up. And, to be
honest,
I was
a little
Mom
wasn’t
happy
withspooked,
Dad fortoo.
telling that story
because Manny seemed really shook up. And, to be
Then
II
heard
soundspooked,
coming from
honest,
was a little
too. deep in the
woods that made my heart STOP.
Then I heard a sound coming from deep in the
woods that made my heart STOP.

For a split second I thought it was the ghost of
Matilda. But then I realized Rodrick was missing,
and athe
whole
thing
was one big
joketheDad
andof
For
split
second
I thought
it was
ghost
Rodrick were
playing
on the rest
of us.
Matilda.
But then
I realized
Rodrick
was missing,
and the whole thing was one big joke Dad and
Rodrick were playing on the rest of us.

83
83

90

But it kind of BACKFIRED. Because, when
Rodrick howled, Manny JUMPED. And that’s
how Dad
ended
up CKFIRED
with a f lam.ing
marshmallow
But
it kind
of BA
Because,
when
stuck
to howled,
his knee.Manny JUMPED. And that’s
Rodrick
how Dad ended up with a f laming marshmallow
stuck to his knee.

I think Dad was about to dive in the stream to
put out the fire, but luckily Rodrick remembered
wher
e we Dad
keptwas
theabout
fire extinguisher.
I
think
to dive in the stream to
put out the fire, but luckily Rodrick remembered
where we kept the fire extinguisher.

84
84

91

Mom started giving Dad a lecture about why you
should never scare people, but she got cut off by
weird started
noises coming
forest.about
At first
I
Mom
givingfrom
Dad the
a lecture
why you
thoughtnever
it might
another
, but
should
scare be
people,
butJOKE
she got
cut the
off look
by
in
Dad’s
andcoming
Rodrick’s
me it
ASNI
’ T.
weird
noises
fromeyes
the told
forest.
AtWfirst
thought it might be another JOKE, but the look
in Dad’s and Rodrick’s eyes told me it WASN’ T.

Whatever was out there sounded BIG and was
coming our way. So we piled into the camper van
and lockedwas
theout
door
behind
us. BIG and was
Whatever
there
sounded
coming our way. So we piled into the camper van
and locked the door behind us.

85
85

92

Sure enough, it was a BEAR. But it
our trash, it was after the BAKED
Sure enough, it was a BEAR. But it
our trash, it was after the BAKED

wasn’t after
BEANS.
wasn’t after
BEANS.

Once the bear was done licking the beans off the
camper van, it wanted MORE. And I wish I
could
calm,licking
but I’d
lying.off the
Once say
the we
bearstayed
was done
thebebeans
camper van, it wanted MORE. And I wish I
could say we stayed calm, but I’d be lying.

86
86

93

Dad climbed into the driver’s seat to get us OUT
of there, but the keys were by the fire. And
OUT
when climbed
the bearinto
started
rockingseat
the to
camper
van,
I
Dad
the driver’s
get us
thought
wasthe
OVER
of there,itbut
keys for
wereus.by the fire. And
when the bear started rocking the camper van, I
VER
I
guess Manny
did,
too,
thought
it was O
forbecause
us. he managed to
scramble out of a window and get up on the ROOF.
And
he took
thedid,
f lare
gunbecause
WITHhehim.
I guess
Manny
too,
managed to
scramble out of a window and get up on the ROOF.
And he took the f lare gun WITH him.

87
87

94

Saturday
Last night, the l ight from the f lare scared off
the bear, so when the ranger arrived at our
Saturday
pitch,night,
we didn’t
need to
RESCUED
Last
the really
l ight from
thebef lare
scared off
any
more. so
Bywhen
then,the
ourranger
biggestarrived
problem
the bear,
at was
our the
marshmallow
burnreally
on Dad’s
pitch, we didn’t
need knee.
to be RESCUED
any more. By then, our biggest problem was the
marshmallow burn on Dad’s knee.

The ranger said it was totally reckless for us to
shoot off that f lare, because it could’ve started a
forest
fire. Then
we were
gonna
The
ranger
said itshe
wassaid
totally
reckless
for have
us to to
leave
in it
thecould’ve
morning.
shoot the
off park
that ffirst
lare,thing
because
started a
forest fire. Then she said we were gonna have to
Well,
thatpark
was first
fine with
We morning.
lasted one night
leave the
thingME
in .the
in the wilderness, and I didn’t think we could
survivethat
ANO
THER
Well,
was
fine. with ME. We lasted one night
in the wilderness, and I didn’t think we could
88
survive ANOTHER.
88

95

When we left the park this morning, I was really
looking forward to getting back to Gramma’s
basemewe
nt.left
I kn
ew park
we’d have
plenty ofIhot
When
the
this morning,
waswater
really
and no forward
BEARS.to getting back to Gramma’s
looking
basement. I knew we’d have plenty of hot water
But
MomBEARS
wasn’t. ready to go back home just yet.
and no
She said the reason we had a bad time camping
was because
we were
tootoISOLA
TED
, and
we
But
Mom wasn’t
ready
go back
home
justif yet.
went
to athe
place
where
PEOPLE
She said
reason
wethere
had awere
bad other
time camping
we’d
have more
fun. too ISOLATED, and if we
was because
we were
went to a place where there were other PEOPLE
Mom
told more
us she’d
we’d have
fun.heard of these campsites where
they have all sorts of activities for families, and
everything
need
is in ofonethese
place.campsites where
Mom
told usyou
she’d
heard
they have all sorts of activities for families, and
everything you need is in one place.

89
89

96

Then she started looking up nearby campsites and
found one that had potential.
Then she started looking up nearby campsites and
found one that had potential.

What caught my eye was the word “luxury”. After
getting a taste of “real” camping, I was ready for
something
a little
morewas
UPmarket
.
What
caught
my eye
the word “luxury”.
After
getting a taste of “real” camping, I was ready for
90
something a little more UPmarket.
90

97

I knew from Sunday school that “Eden” was
another word for paradise, so that sounded
promising.
I
knew from Sunday school that “Eden” was
another word for paradise, so that sounded
The
way I remember it, Adam and Eve got kicked
promising.
out of the Garden of Eden because one of them
was tempted
to eat anit,apple
forbidden
tree.
The
way I remember
Adamfrom
anda Eve
got kicked
out of the Garden of Eden because one of them
If
was MEto, eat
I wouldn’t
up paradise
was it
tempted
an applehave
fromgiven
a forbidden
tree.
for a piece of fruit. It would’ve had to have been
for it
something
, like cake
. up paradise
If
was ME,GOOD
I wouldn’t
have given
for a piece of fruit. It would’ve had to have been
for something GOOD, like cake.

91
91

98

It took us most of the day to get to Campers’
Eden. But, when we crossed the bridge and got
our first
at the
place,
why they
It
took look
us most
of the
dayItocould
get see
to Campers’
named itBut,
the when
way they
did. the bridge and got
Eden.
we crossed
our first look at the place, I could see why they
named it the way they did.

92
92

99

We pulled up to the lodge and went inside, where
a member of staff told us about all the awesome
stuffpulled
theyuphad
campsite,
like inside,
a gameswhere
room
We
to at
thethe
lodge
and went
a poolofand
sandpits,
a lake
with
canoes
aand
member
staff
told us plus
about
all the
awesome
and kayaks.
stuff
they had at the campsite, like a games room
and a pool and sandpits, plus a lake with canoes
and kayaks.

There was also a shower block where you could
take a hot shower, which was the thing MOM
was
most
There
wasexcited
also a about.
shower block where you could
take a hot shower, which was the thing MOM
What
I liked
wasabout.
that each pitch had its own
was most
excited
sewer hook-up. The inside of our camper van was
starting
smell
a monkey
house,
What
I to
liked
waslike
that
each pitch
hadand
its I
ownwas
really hook-up.
looking forward
to our
sewage
tankvan
getting
sewer
The inside
of our
camper
was
f lushed out.
starting
to smell like a monkey house, and I was
really looking forward to our sewage tank getting
93
f lushed out.
93

100

Mom told the member of staff we’d like a pitch
with a lake view. But the woman told Mom that
peopletold
booked
those Wof
AYstaff
aheadwe’d
of time,
Mom
the member
like a and
pitchthat
the
spots
the economy
lot.that
with only
a lake
view.left
Butwere
theinwoman
told Mom
people booked those WAY ahead of time, and that
the only spots left were in the economy lot.

I guess Mom was focused on that hot shower,
so she said we’d take whatever they HAD. And,
after
we Mom
paid was
up for
the week,
we drove
our
I guess
focused
on that
hot shower,
AD. And,
camper
van we’d
downtake
the whatever
hill to findthey
our Hpitch.
so
she said
after we paid up for the week, we drove our
The
further
downthe
thehill
hilltowefind
went,
smaller
camper
van down
our the
pitch.
the pitches got. And when we found our spot
Dad further
could barely
van the
on to
the
The
downfitthethehillcamper
we went,
smaller
concrete
pad.got. And when we found our spot
the
pitches
Dad could barely fit the camper van on to the
94
concrete pad.
94

101

After we parked, Mom unloaded the camping
chairs while Dad tried to figure out how to f lush
the sewage
tank. IMom
wanted
to bethe
as camping
far away as
After
we parked,
unloaded
possiblewhile
whenDad
he got
T process
so
chairs
triedTHA
to figure
out started
how to ,f lush
I
Momtank.
and Dad
I was to
gonna
offaway
and as
thetold
sewage
I wanted
be asgofar
explore
possible the
whencampsite.
he got THAT process started, so
I told Mom and Dad I was gonna go off and
explore the campsite.

95
95

102

I wanted to check out the games room, so that’s
where I went first. There were a few arcade
machines
I was
really
I
wantedintothere,
checkbut
outnothing
the games
room,
so that’s
interested
in playing.
where
I went
first. There were a few arcade
machines in there, but nothing I was really
interested in playing.

They had a pool table, but from what I could tell
it didn’t have any actual BALLS.
They had a pool table, but from what I could tell
it didn’t have any actual BALLS.

96
96

103

I checked out the swimming pool next, and that
was kind of a disappointment, too. It was full of
little
kids, out
and the
theirswimming
parentspool
weren’t
I
checked
next,even
andkeeping
that
an eye
was
kindonofthem.
a disappointment, too. It was full of
little kids, and their parents weren’t even keeping
an eye on them.

Nowadays, kids wear these f loaty vests, so they
don’t even have to learn how to swim. It’s not
like when Ikids
was wear
growing
up,f loaty
when vests,
you hadso to
Nowadays,
these
they
learn the
don’t
evenHARD
have toway.
learn how to swim. It’s not
like when I was growing up, when you had to
learn the HARD way.

97
97

104

Some of the little kids drifted out into the deep
end, which was a problem because people were doing
cannonballs
thekids
highdrifted
board.out into the deep
Some
of theoff
little
end, which was a problem because people were doing
cannonballs off the high board.

98
98

105

There was no lifeguard on duty, so everyone was
pretty much doing whatever they WANTED.
There was no lifeguard on duty, so everyone was
pretty much doing whatever they WANTED.

I didn’t really feel safe going in the pool, so I
decided to relax in the hot tub instead. But that’s
when
I found
wasn’t
I
didn’t
really out
feelthat
safe this
goingplace
in the
pool,joking
so I
around about
thein“pet-friendly”
thing. But that’s
decided
to relax
the hot tub instead.
when I found out that this place wasn’t joking
around about the “pet-friendly” thing.

99
99

106

There was a snack shack in the pool area, and the
laundrette and shower block were close by.
There was a snack shack in the pool area, and the
I
wanted to
a littleblock
morewere
timeclose
before
laundrette
andkillshower
by. I went
back to our camper van in case Dad wasn’t done
emptying
tank.time
So I
explored
some
I
wantedout
to the
kill asewage
little more
before
I went
of thetoother
pitchesvan
to inseecase
what
they
weredone
like.
back
our camper
Dad
wasn’t
emptying out the sewage tank. So I explored some
The
nicest
ones
were to
theseedeluxe
thatlike.
of the
other
pitches
whatpitches
they were
overlooked the stream. Those people had satellite
dishesnicest
and fancy
BBQthe
s, and
they
had actual
The
ones were
deluxe
pitches
that
LA
WNS that
took
care people
of. had satellite
overlooked
the they
stream.
Those
dishes and fancy BBQ s, and they had actual
LAWNS that they took care of.

100
100

107

I could tell the deluxe campsite people didn’t like
us economy guys hanging around their properties,
thou
gh, tell
so Ithe
didn’t
stick
aroundpeople
long. didn’t like
I
could
deluxe
campsite
us economy guys hanging around their properties,
though, so I didn’t stick around long.

The spots further down the hill weren’t as
nice, but each row was kind of like its own little
neighbourhood.
The
spots further down the hill weren’t as
nice, but each row was kind of like its own little
One
of the rows had a bunch of older people
neighbourhood.
in it, so I’m guessing that was the area for
retirees.
A few
wereof families
with
One
of the
rowsrows
had down
a bunch
older people
little
in
it, kids.
so I’m guessing that was the area for
retirees. A few rows down were families with
little kids.

101
101

108

Some of the rows had THEMES, and people went
kind of crazy with the decorations.
Some of the rows had THEMES, and people went
kind of crazy with the decorations.

A few people didn’t have full-sized camper vans,
and I felt grateful that Uncle Gary hadn’t left
us few
one of
THOSE
A
people
didn’tinstead.
have full-sized camper vans,
and I felt grateful that Uncle Gary hadn’t left
us one of THOSE instead.

102
102

109

Some other people didn’t have camper vans at
ALL. There was one area that looked like it had
aSome
full other
motorcycle
in it,
I was
gladatwe
peoplegang
didn’t
haveand
camper
vans
ALL
didn’t. There
end upwas
as neighbours
withlooked
THOSE
one area that
like guys.
it had
a full motorcycle gang in it, and I was glad we
didn’t end up as neighbours with THOSE guys.

But it might’ve been even WORSE if we’d ended
up in the pet-friendly row. Because that area was
a total
ZOO. been even WORSE if we’d ended
But
it might’ve
up in the pet-friendly row. Because that area was
a total ZOO.

103
103

110

I could tell when I was getting closer to the
economy row because the pitches were packed a
whole
lottell
TIGHTER,
peoplecloser
had to
I
could
when I wasand
getting
to make
the the
most
of their
space.
economy
row beca
use the pitches were packed a
whole lot TIGHTER, and people had to make the
most of their space.

When I got back to our pitch, Dad was cooking
hot dogs on the BBQ. I wanted to ask him if he
washed
hands
theDad
sewage
When Ihisgot
backafter
to ourdoing
pitch,
was hook-up,
cooking
BBQ
bu
tI
thought
might
annoyed
with
hot
dogs
on thehe
. I get
wanted
to ask
himmeif. he
washed his hands after doing the sewage hook-up,
104
but I thought he might get annoyed with me.
104

111

Mom was trying to get to know some of our
neighbours, but they seemed like the type of
peoplewas
whotrying
liked to keep
to know
themselves.
Mom
get to
some of our
neighbours, but they seemed like the type of
people who liked to keep to themselves.

Once Dad was done cooking, we sat down at our
picnic table to eat. But the people on the other
side ofDad
us were
playing
beanbag
on their
roof,
Once
was done
cooking,
we toss
sat down
at our
and somebody
there
lousy on
aim.the other
picnic
table to up
eat.
But had
the apeople
side of us were playing beanbag toss on their roof,
and somebody up there had a lousy aim.

105
105

112

While we were cleaning up the mess, I told Mom
and Dad I thought coming here might’ve been a
MISTwe
AKE
. But
Mom said
sometimes
it’stohard
While
were
cleaning
up the
mess, I
ld Mom
getting
to a new
place,here
andmight’ve
I justbeen
needed
and Dadused
I thought
coming
a
MIS
TAKE
to give
it a. chance.
But Mom said sometimes it’s hard
getting used to a new place, and I just needed
Then
to giveshe
it reminded
a chance. me that we hadn’t even visited
the lake yet, which should be the best part. I
was
to say something
when even
I got
Thenabout
she reminded
me that else,
we hadn’t
visited
interrupted
a noise
coming
the part.
direction
the lake yet,bywhich
should
be from
the best
I
of
maintolodge.
wasthe
about
say something else, when I got
interrupted by a noise coming from the direction
of the main lodge.

It sounded like one of those air-raid sirens you
hear in a war movie when enemy bombers are
approaching,
andone
it put
me totally
on sirens
edge. you
It
sounded like
of those
air-raid
hear in a war movie when enemy bombers are
106
approaching, and it put me totally on edge.
106

113

Our next-door neighbours seemed nervous, too,
and they gathered up their stuff to take inside
theirnext-door
camper van.
Our
neighbours seemed nervous, too,
and they gathered up their stuff to take inside
their camper van.

When Dad asked what the siren was for, our
neighbour said it meant there was a SKUNK on
the
andwhat
everyone
needed
getour
inside
Whenproperty,
Dad asked
the siren
wastofor,
in a hurry.said it meant there was a SKUNK on
neighbour
the property, and everyone needed to get inside
in a hurry.

107
107

114

Well, that was enough to get US moving. We
shut our door and peeked out of the window while
US moving.
we waited.
enough,toa few
later We
a
Well,
that Sure
was enough
get minutes
skunk
came
aroundout
ourofpitch.
shut our
doosniffing
r and peeked
the window while
we waited. Sure enough, a few minutes later a
skunk came sniffing around our pitch.

It got up on the picnic table, and when it
started eating our hot dogs there was nothing we
couldgot
do up
butonWATCH
. table, and when it
It
the picnic
started eating our hot dogs there was nothing we
could do but WATCH.

108
108

115

Once the skunk was done eating, it LEFT. After
a while, the siren stopped and everyone came
back outside.
And,
skunk. was
Once
the skunk
was even
donethough
eating,the
it LEFT
After
GONE
the siren
wholestopped
pitch smelled
TERRIBLE
a while,, the
and everyone
came .
back outside. And, even though the skunk was
GONE, the whole pitch smelled TERRIBLE.

Dad said the reason it smelled so bad was because
there’s some sort of chemical in a skunk’s glands
that said
people
smell it
from
a milesoaway.
Andbecause
he said
Dad
thecan
reason
smelled
bad was
if you got
RAYED
by a skunk
it wouldglands
be a
there’s
someSPsort
of chemical
in a skunk’s
thousand
times
ORSE
that people
can W
smell
from. a mile away. And he said
if you got SPRAYED by a skunk it would be a
ORSEyou
He
said the
bestWthing
thousand
times
. could do if you ran into
a skunk was to back away slowly, because a skunk
will said
only the
spray
a person
if itcould
feelsdolike
He
best
thing you
if it’s
you cornered
ran into
or
threatened.
a skunk
was to back away slowly, because a skunk
will only spray a person if it feels like it’s cornered
109
or threatened.
109

116

Then he said you know you’re about to be sprayed
if a skunk stands on its front legs and wiggles its
butt. he
Butsaid
by you
thenknow
it’s probably
too to
LATE
.
Then
you’re about
be sprayed
if a skunk stands on its front legs and wiggles its
butt. But by then it’s probably too LATE.

Rodrick said that a skunk’s spray doesn’t just
smell bad, it’s FLAMMABLE, too. I don’t know
if
that’s said
truethat
or if ait’s
just another
one ofjust
his lies.
Rodrick
skunk’s
spray doesn’t
ABLE
If itbad,
IS true,
then M
once
skunks
figure
out how
smell
it’s FLAM
, too.
I don’t
knowto
light
matches,
beings
are inone
BIGoftrouble.
if that’s
true orus ifhuman
it’s just
another
his lies.
If it IS true, then once skunks figure out how to
light matches, us human beings are in BIG trouble.

110
110

117

When God created the animals, he gave them all
cool stuff to defend themselves with, like shells and
talons God
and created
claws. the animals, he gave them all
When
cool stuff to defend themselves with, like shells and
talons and claws.

But then when the time came to create PEOPLE,
all the GOOD ideas were used up.
But then when the time came to create PEOPLE,
all the GOOD ideas were used up.

111
111

118

I guess God made up for it by
BRAINS. But, if it was up to
would’ve
with QUILLS
I guess gone
God made
up for it .by
BRAINS. But, if it was up to
would’ve gone with QUILLS.

giving us big
me, I probably
giving us big
me, I probably

I figure if something as small as a skunk could
scare off predators by smelling bad, then maybe it
could
workif for
ME. And
that’s
I decided
I
figure
something
as small
as when
a skunk
could
I’m
shower
until I bad,
finishthen
highmaybe
school.it
scarenot
off gonna
predators
by smelling
could work for ME. And that’s when I decided
I’m not gonna shower until I finish high school.

112
112

119

I probably shouldn’t have told MOM my plan,
though, because all it did was remind her that
MOM
skipped taking
a shower
today.
So my
nowplan,
she’s
I probably
shouldn’t
have told
making
take one
tomorrow
morning.
though,mebecause
all itfirst
did thing
was remind
her that
I skipped taking a shower today. So now she’s
making me take one first thing tomorrow morning.

Luckily, we had a few extra hot dogs in the
camper van, and Dad cooked them over the fire.
But I kept
thinking
skunk.
So I
Luckily,
we had
a few about
extra that
hot dogs
in the
was
already
little
jumpy
when
all over
of a the
sudden
camper
van, aand
Dad
cooked
them
fire.we
got
R AYEthinking
D.
But S
IPkept
about that skunk. So I
was already a little jumpy when all of a sudden we
got S P R AYED.

113
113

120

But it wasn’t a SKUNK that sprayed us. It was
one of our NEIGH BOuRS. Apparently, 9:00 is
SKUNand
K that
“lights
out” ata camp,
I guess
people
But
it wasn’t
sprayed
us. around
It was
NEIGH
BOuRS
here
pretty
seriously.
one oftake
our that
. Apparently, 9:00 is
“lights out” at camp, and I guess people around
here take that pretty seriously.

So we turned in for the night, but I didn’t
really SLEEP. Because, like I said before, those
economy
pitches
packed
together
So we turned
in were
for the
night,
but I TIGHT
didn’t .
really SLEEP. Because, like I said before, those
economy pitches were packed together TIGHT.

114
114

121

Sunday
It turned out the whole camp was early to bed,
early to rise. We didn’t even need to set our
Sunday
alarmturned
clocksout
because
our neighbours
us to
know
It
the whole
camp was let
early
bed,
when it
get even
up. need to set our
early
to was
rise.time
We to
didn’t
alarm clocks because our neighbours let us know
Believe
or not,
guyup.was doing WOOD
when ititwas
time some
to get
CARVINGS on his pitch. I wanted to give him a
piece
but when
I saw
theWOOD
chainsaw I
Believeofitmyor mind,
not, some
guy was
doing
CA
RVINGS
figured
maybe on
I his
couldpitch.
let itIslide
this to
onegive
time.
wanted
him a
piece of my mind, but when I saw the chainsaw I
figured maybe I could let it slide this one time.

115
115

122

After Dad got out of bed, he started cooking
pancakes and eggs on the griddle. Mom was just
gettingDad
backgot
from
shower
andcooking
she gave
After
outthe
of bed,
heblock
started
me the scoop
howonthings
workedMom
up there.
pancakes
and on
eggs
the griddle.
was just
getting back from the shower block and she gave
She
saidscoop
you had
to pay
forworked
the shower
with
me the
on how
things
up there.
coins, and gave me a few. Then she told me that
I nesaid
ededyou
to had
stop to
by pay
the for
laundrette
and move
She
the shower
with our
clothes
fromgave
theme
washer
the dryer.
coins, and
a few.toThen
she told me that
I needed to stop by the laundrette and move our
clothes from the washer to the dryer.

I really didn’t like the idea of taking a shower
in a public building. When you live in a house with
yourreally
family,
thelike
bathroom
thetaking
only place
you
I
didn’t
the ideais of
a shower
cana get
PRIVACY
whenin I’m
in
publicany
building.
When. So,
you live
a hoin
usethere,
with
I’m
my own
world.is the only place you
your infamily,
thelittle
bathroom
can get any PRIVACY. So, when I’m in there,
116
I’m in my own little world.
116

123

And, once that door’s locked, I can do anything
I WANT.
And, once that door’s locked, I can do anything
I WANT.

But sometimes I get myself in TROU BLE in the
bathroom. Once, I almost broke my ribs when I
OU
BLE
was pretending
be myself
Spider-Man
the
shower.
But
sometimes Itoget
in TRin
in the
bathroom. Once, I almost broke my ribs when I
was pretending to be Spider-Man in the shower.

117
117

124

When I arrived at the shower block, the line was
already wrapped round the building. And I got
to know
fellowatcampers
a little
better
I
When
I my
arrived
the shower
block,
the than
line was
WANTED
to. round the building. And I got
already
wrapped
to know my fellow campers a little better than I
WANTED to.

I figured the line would split at the entrance,
and guys would go one way and girls would go the
other.
But the
it turns
out this
didn’t
have those
I
figured
line would
splitplace
at the
entrance,
kindsguys
of boundaries.
and
would go one way and girls would go the
other. But it turns out this place didn’t have those
kinds of boundaries.

118
118

125

I found out the reason the wait was so long was
because there were only three shower stalls inside.
When
it was
my turn,
I put
I
found
out finally
the reason
the wait
wastwenty-five
so long was
cents inthere
the coin
the stall
door,
andinside.
that
because
wereslot
onlyonthree
shower
stalls
got thite was
shower
going.
When
finally
my turn, I put twenty-five
cents in the coin slot on the stall door, and that
The
hote shower
water felt
GOOD, especially since I
got th
going.
hadn’t had a hot shower in a few days.
The hot water felt GOOD, especially since I
hadn’t had a hot shower in a few days.

But I couldn’t really enjoy it since the stalls only
went so high.
But I couldn’t really enjoy it since the stalls only
went so high.

119
119

126

I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was by
myself. But that was kind of hard to do when the
person
theeyes
nextand
stall
started
gettingICHA
I
closedin my
tried
to pretend
wasTTY
by .
myself. But that was kind of hard to do when the
person in the next stall started getting CHATTY.

I decided to wrap things up and get out of
there. But the shower stopped before I had a
chance
to rinse
the things
shampoo
myout
hair.
I
decided
to wrap
up out
andofget
of
there. But the shower stopped before I had a
chance to rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

120
120

127

It turns out twenty-five cents only paid for
three minutes of hot water. I tried to hand the
nextturns
personout
in twenty-five
line a coin to cents
put in only
the slot,
It
paid fbut
or I
couldn’tminutes
get hisofattention.
three
hot water. I tried to hand the
next person in line a coin to put in the slot, but I
couldn’t get his attention.

So I stepped out of the shower to put the coin
in MYSELF. But I guess that was just the
opportunity
this
AITING
for.the coin
So I stepped
outguy
of was
the W
shower
to put
in MYSELF. But I guess that was just the
opportunity this guy was WAITING for.

121
121

128

And what REALLY stunk was when he started
using my SHAM POO.
And what REALLY stunk was when he started
using my SHAM POO.

I didn’t feel like getting into an argument with
a naked guy, so I LEFT. But some soapsuds got
in
eye,feel
andlike
I getting
could barely
where I was
I my
didn’t
into see
an argument
with
agoing.
naked guy, so I LEFT. But some soapsuds got
in my eye, and I could barely see where I was
going.

122
122

129

Luckily, I found my way to the laundrette,
where there was a sink. And that water was
FREE. I found my way to the laundrette,
Luckily,
where there was a sink. And that water was
FREE.

Once I finished rinsing the shampoo out of my
hair, I started looking for our clothes. But
someone
taken
them the
out shampoo
of the washing
Once
I had
finished
rinsing
out of my
machine
dumped
themfor
on our
theclothes.
f loor soBut
they
hair, I and
started
looking
could puthad
THEIR
in. of the washing
someone
takenclothes
them out
machine and dumped them on the f loor so they
could put THEIR clothes in.

123
123

130

After I put our clothes in the dryer, I decided
I was gonna stick around the washing machines
and find
dumped inourthe
stuff
on, the
f loor
After
I out
put who
our clothes
dryer
I decided
when
came
backaround
to getthe
THEIRS
I
wasthey
gonna
stick
washing. machines
and find out who dumped our stuff on the f loor
when they came back to get THEIRS.

But, when I saw who it WAS, I thought maybe
I could let things slide one more time.
But, when I saw who it WAS, I thought maybe
I could let things slide one more time.

124
124

131

When I got back to our pitch, all I wanted to
do was crawl back into bed. But Mom said we were
all going
downback
to the
lakepitch,
and Iallneeded
to put
When
I got
to our
I wanted
to
on was
my swimming
shorts.
do
crawl back
into bed. But Mom said we were
all going down to the lake and I needed to put
I
her that
I didn’t HAV E swimming
on reminded
my swimming
shorts.
shorts any more, and I was hoping that would
AV E
getreminded
me off the
Butdidn’t
Mom Hsaid
Rodrick
had a
I
her hook.
that I
swimming
SP
AREany
pair,
and,
though
I’mthat
not awould
fan of
shorts
more,
andeven
I was
hoping
wearing
someone
else’s But
clothes,
knew
therehad
wasa
get me off
the hook.
Mom I
said
Rodrick
SP
no ARE
point pair,
in debating
her though
about it.I’m not a fan of
and, even
wearing someone else’s clothes, I knew there was
no point in debating her about it.

I figured if we splashed around the lake for a
few minutes and acted like we were having a good
time,
Mom ifwould
be satisfied
and the
let us
back
I
figured
we splashed
around
lakegofor
a
to camp.
Butand
sheacted
took like
her we
camera
her,
and
few
minutes
were with
having
a good
that always
complicates
things.
time,
Mom would
be satisfied
and let us go back
to camp. But she took her camera with her, and
125
that always complicates things.
125

132

This summer Mom’s been spending a lot of time on
social media. And, whenever she sees how perfect
her friends’
look,spending
it makes aher
OUS
This
summer families
Mom’s been
lotJEAL
of time
on.
social media. And, whenever she sees how perfect
her friends’ families look, it makes her JEALOUS.

So Mom always puts us in these awkward poses
to make it look like WE’ RE having a good time,
too.
Butalways
there puts
must us
be insomething
wrong with
So Mom
these awkward
posesmy
WE
family,
never
our aact
together.
to
makebecause
it look we
likecan
’ RE get
having
good
time,
too. But there must be something wrong with my
family, because we can never get our act together.

126
126

133

The lake looked calm and peaceful when we first
saw it from the bridge. But today it was a whole
different
scene. calm and peaceful when we first
The
lake looked
saw it from the bridge. But today it was a whole
different scene.

I was expecting the lake to be clear, like the one
at the fish hatchery, but it looked DIRTY to me.
And
probably
weren’t
justone
I wasthat’s
expecting
the because
lake to people
be clear,
like the
using
for hatchery,
SWIMMING
at theit fish
but. it looked DIRTY to me.
And that’s probably because people weren’t just
using it for SWIMMING.

127
127

134

I thought people were acting kind of nuts at the
POOL yesterday, but at the lake it was at a
whole
different
LEwere
VEL.acting kind of nuts at the
I thought
people
POOL yesterday, but at the lake it was at a
VEL.attached to a big tree
There
was a ropeLEswing
whole different
that went out over the water. But I wasn’t
planning
that thing
unless
There
wasona using
rope swing
attached
to ita RAINed
big tree
for
few days
first.the water. But I wasn’t
thata went
out over
planning on using that thing unless it RAINed
for a few days first.

There were some rafts f loating in the middle of
the lake, and I thought about grabbing one. But
I changed
when
I sawinhow
There
were my
somemind
rafts
f loating
the people
middle were
of
usinglake,
them.
the
and I thought about grabbing one. But
I changed my mind when I saw how people were
128
using them.
128

135

There was a ramp at the bottom of a big hill by
the lake, and I couldn’t tell what it was for. But
my question
answered
some
launched
There
was agot
ramp
at the when
bottom
of kid
a big
hill by
himself
intoand
theIwater
inside
tractor
tyre.
the
lake,
couldn’t
tell awhat
it was
for. But
my question got answered when some kid launched
himself into the water inside a tractor tyre.

129
129

136

Mom wanted us all to swim, but I was still pretty
scarred from my LAST experience in a lake. Plus, I
don’t
trust any
can’tbutseeIthrough.
Mom wanted
us water
all to I
swim,
was still pretty
scarred from my LAST experience in a lake. Plus, I
There
was something
sticking
up in the middle
don’t trust
any waterweird
I can’t
see through.
of the lake, and I pointed it out to Dad. He said
it was was
probably
just aweird
branch,
but up
it didn’t
There
something
sticking
in the look
middle
likethe
a branch
to ME
And, when
of
lake, and
I .pointed
it outyou
to can
Dad.only
He see
said
ait part
of something,
could bebutANYTHING
.
was probably
just a itbranch,
it didn’t look
like a branch to ME. And, when you can only see
a part of something, it could be ANYTHING.

130
130

137

Nobody else was in the mood to swim, either, so we
put our stuff down on the ground. But it turned out
a lake shore
thethe
same
as atoBEA
CHeither,
shore, soand
Nobody
else isn’
wast in
mood
swim,
we
within
few seconds
sinking
muck.out
put ourastuff
down onwethewere
ground.
Butinitthe
turned
a lake shore isn’t the same as a BEACH shore, and
within a few seconds we were sinking in the muck.

Mom said we weren’t going back to our pitch
until we did something FU N. There was a canoe
tied
dock, going
and she
said
Mom up
saidtowethe
weren’t
back
to we
ourshould
pitch take
it
outweondid
thesomething
water. IFU
wasN.fine
withwas
being
on
until
There
a canoe
top
water,
so and
longshe
as said
we didn’t
have take
to
tied of
up the
to the
dock,
we should
go out
IN on
it. the water. I was fine with being on
it
top of the water, so long as we didn’t have to
We
tookit.turns getting into the canoe, which wasn’t
go IN
as easy as I thought it would be.
We took turns getting into the canoe, which wasn’t
131
as easy as I thought it would be.
131

138

I stayed low, just like Dad told me to. Rodrick
DIDN’ T, tho ugh, and we almost capsized while we
were
still tied
thelike
dock.
I stayed
low,tojust
Dad told me to. Rodrick
DIDN’ T, tho ugh, and we almost capsized while we
were still tied to the dock.

After we were all in the canoe, we put on life
jackets and paddled out on the water. But some
people we
swimming
were
After
were allnearby
in theseemed
canoe,like
we they
put on
lifein a
hurry toand
getpaddled
out o